I just turned 30 a few weeks ago, and the shift into a new decade of my life has felt incredibly liberating and peaceful at the same time. I felt ready for this new chapter. My twenties, especially the second half of my twenties, brought massive amounts of growth, in which I felt my darkest shadows and found all of my light.
Here are the 30 lessons I’ve come to live by.
Purpose and self-discovery
1. We all have a purpose.
Your soul came here for a purpose. There are desires and experiences that you are meant to have, and you are worthy of seeking and creating all of them for yourself. Have you actually asked yourself what you really want, and what you’re here for?
2. Your purpose will find you.
You don’t have to go out and search for your purpose; your purpose will find you, and you will know. The first step is being open to receiving the guidance.
3. There are lessons in everything.
Everything that you’ve gone through in your life, every experience is happening for a reason. Can you find the lesson in everything, no matter what?
4. Own your truth and find your voice.
Be proud of who you are and the experiences that have shaped you. You may feel like there is no one out there who understands your weirdness, gets what you’re going through, etc. When we decide to own ourselves and share our stories, we realize there are so many others who see a piece of themselves in us. We find community. We can greatly impact the lives of others through our own journeys.
When you go through something, let your light at the end of the tunnel be the knowing that this experience will not only make you stronger, but you will be able to help others experiencing similar circumstances.
5. Being alone is a gift.
Stop being afraid of being alone! One of the best things you can do for yourself is to be by yourself for a period of time as an adult––no partner. Really get to know you. Without any other attachments, judgement, or influence. You have a true essence that is uniquely you. I promise you’re not going to actually end up a lonely cat lady, so celebrate and enjoy this time!
6. Remember your why & express gratitude.
Anytime you get burnt out or question if it will all work out, remember why you are doing what you are doing. Tap into the emotions of gratitude and fulfillment that are beneath the drive you have in everything that you do. If you don’t have a why, if you don’t feel grateful and fulfilled in what you are doing, maybe it’s time to reassess.
Finding self-acceptance and forgiveness
7. Happiness is the way.
Happiness is not something that is outside of yourself, so stop looking everywhere else. Only you can activate it within. This starts with deciding to be okay with where you are at, even if it’s not where you want to be. Misery isn’t going to take you anywhere. You have to change your energy right now in order to shift your future reality.
8. Accept yourself; you are all you’ve got.
Self-acceptance and self-awareness are the foundation of self-love. Can you learn to accept yourself exactly as you are, and appreciate your uniqueness instead of only seeing flaws? Every piece of you is unique, and that makes you beautiful. Stop wanting to be like everyone else and be grateful for what you’ve got.
9. Be the energy you want to receive.
Until you can find love and acceptance for yourself, how do you expect others to? We attract what we are. If you want more love in your life, you have to feel it for yourself first.
10. Stop blaming everyone else for your situation.
Take responsibility for your actions, your beliefs, and your reality. The only person that got you there is you. Life is about choices, if you’re not happy with where you’re at- then change something.
11. Forgive so you can live.
Holding onto blame, guilt, shame, resentment, anger is only going to keep you stuck in the past. It could even eventually manifest as disease in the body. Choose to forgive yourself, and forgive others for whatever you are holding on to, so that you can let go and move forward with your life. It doesn’t mean what happened was right and just, but it means that you’re allowing yourself to move on. Life is too short to hold onto animosity.
12. You are only responsible for your own actions and reactions in life.
Focus on yourself, the energy you are putting out and the way you are treating others. You can’t control anyone or anything but yourself. Releasing this need to control other people, situations, outcomes, etc. will take so much unnecessary stress out of your life!
Following the guidance of your soul
13. Ask for guidance.
The first step in figuring out what you want and what you are here for is to simply ask your higher self! This is the all-knowing, all-loving, all high-vibration part of you that is connected to your soul. If you are ever in need, you already have the answer within.
14. Trust the nudges.
You don’t ever need to know the how. You don’t need to know what the big picture is in terms of your life. Follow those intuitive nudges that tell you to pick up a certain book, listen to a certain podcast, go to a certain place and allow things to unfold. When you focus on following your passions and allowing yourself to go after the things that you like, you will always be led to exactly where you need to be.
15. Go do what lights you up.
Please, please, please go live your life for you. Follow those calls from your soul and go do what makes your heart dance! Stop worrying about what other people think, trying to please everyone and doing things just because you think you “should” be doing them.
16. Defy logic.
So many times when we get the intuitive downloads, we decide not to trust them because they seem crazy or they don’t make logical sense. Well sometimes you have to say screw logic! Don’t allow silly things like playing it safe keep you small. Remember, everything is possible if you’re open to the magic of receiving.
17. Align, and then re-align.
When you are following the calls of your soul and therefore doing what you are meant to be doing, you are in alignment. Part of this idea is knowing that nothing ever stays the same. Your soul is fluid and ever changing, so what feels good for you one day, may not feel good the next. And that’s okay! Allow yourself to continuously let go of what is no longer serving you, so that you can make room for more of what is meant for you and find that alignment once again.
18. Your soul made contracts.
I truly believe there is a reason for everything and that our souls make contracts with one another to meet in this lifetime for various reasons. Whether it’s love, an opportunity, or an important lesson, there is something special about shifting your perspective into thinking that everyone that comes into your life is for a purpose, and you will grow in some way from that interaction, no matter how short or long.
Overcoming fear
19. Only LOVE is real.
The truest and most powerful energy in the universe is love. This energy voids everything else. The opposite of love is fear, but it is not real outside of your head. Any feelings of fear that come into your consciousness are simply your ego trying to protect you in some way.
So when you feel this, remember that it is not real, and tap into your higher-self instead. Your higher-self is all love and high vibrations, the part of you that is directly connected to your soul self. None of this part of you would make you feel fear. In a sense, fear is an illusion of the 3D world. Can you choose to let faith rule you instead?
20. Fear lives in the future.
A majority of the time, the things we fear the most are things that haven’t even happened yet. Perhaps we fear them, because of a similar situation in the past. You never have to relive your past unless you choose to. So stop worrying about something in the future, when the future doesn’t even exist.
21. Fear is your only true limitation.
When it comes down to it, the only thing stopping most people from going after the things they want is fear. Fear of failing, fear of judgement, fear of not being good enough. Seems silly when you say it out loud…that you’re going to let some false idea you made up in your head be the one thing that keeps you from your dreams. The only thing in your way is you.
22. Make fear your ally.
Decide that you cannot fail. You may not always get the results you want, but you’ll always get the lesson that you need. You can turn your fear into excitement by simply breathing into it, and then you can make it your driving force in anything you do. Use it as your fuel!
23. The things we fear the most are where we need to grow the most.
Like I said earlier, our souls came here to learn and grow. You can’t do much of that when you are sitting all comfy and safe in your complacency. You have to be pushed to your limits, and face the things you resist the most if you want to grow.
24. For every problem, there is always a solution.
We live in a polarized universe. Dark and light, hot and cold, masculine and feminine. This means, that whenever you are faced with a problem, for it to even be in your consciousness or your reality at all, there is already a solution in existence.
Trusting in the universe
25. You are exactly where you’re meant to be.
Every decision that you make has gotten you to where you are right now. And maybe it’s still not where you want to be. Maybe you are miserable as hell, but it’s still teaching you something. When we compare ourselves to the timelines of others, we do ourselves a disservice. Your timeline is perfect, and life is not a race. You are here for your journey only. Learning to enjoy the journey starts with trusting that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
26. Everything is always happening for your highest good.
The Universe is always working to bring you everything you desire. And you deserve it! Sometimes there is a lesson that needs to be learned first. Sometimes we think we want something, but it isn’t for our highest good. How many times have you looked back on something that didn’t go the way you wanted, and now you are so glad it didn’t work out? Decide that everything is always happening for you, and with your best interest at heart.
27. Have faith in the metaphysical.
There are higher powers at play. When I say the universe is working to bring you everything you want, I’m saying that it is pulling all these strings behind the scenes to arrange for you to meet the right people, attract the perfect opportunities, etc. Just because you can’t see it yet doesn’t mean it’s not there. Remember that it takes time for manifestations to show up in 3D. The energy is there. It is already done, but you have to allow time and space (the physical) to catch up.
28. What you put out is what you get back.
The universe is mirroring back to you the energy that you put out. If you want to change your current reality, change your internal energy. You have to become the future version of yourself now.
29. Release the need to control.
Trying to control every outcome and timeline in your life is blocking abundance coming in. It is a constrictive, lack-minded energy that takes you out of the vibration of receiving. When you’re so certain that your life has to look a certain way, you are limiting yourself from welcoming in all the magic that you couldn’t even dream up yourself. You are not allowing the universe to do its job. You are not God!
30. This, or something better…always.
The last bit is releasing attachment to any outcome. No matter good or bad, celebrate it, knowing that it was meant for you and you grew from it. Release attachment knowing that you will be fine no matter what. If it’s not this, it is always something even better!
