1. Pumpkin picking

Pumpkins are basically synonymous with fall and I feel like something is missing if I don’t make at least one stop at a pumpkin patch to pick out my bad boy for the season.

2. Pumpkin carving and decorating

I’m good at a lot of things, but pumpkin carving isn’t one of them. I’ll leave that to the more talented folks. I definitely enjoy a good pumpkin decorating though and the more glitter the better!

3. Take a hike

In my opinion, this time of year is the best for hiking. The cooler temps and beautiful colors from changing leaves making hiking a must for me during this season.

4. Learn to make a tasty fall cocktail

I LOVE craft cocktails, but I’m not big on the price or the crowds. Most of the time I’d much prefer to learn how to make a good one in the comfort of my own home to dazzle my friends with!

This caramel apple martini and this apple, pear, and gin cocktail are on my to-try list!

5. Design an autumnal floral arrangement

I was a floral assistant for two years so season bouquets and arrangements light me up! Check out this YouTube vid if you need a how-to or grab some eucalyptus, chrysanthemums, gold spider mums, and any other favorite fall blooms and do your own thing!

6. Go camping

Find a nice, scenic spot and pitch a tent! Now is a great time to enjoy camping with your family or quarantine buddies if you want a change of scenery but also want to be mindful of your health. 

7. Rent a cabin

If camping isn’t your thing but you still want to get away from it all then renting a cabin might be a great option for you.

8. Learn a new hobby

It’s the perfect time to start learning a new hobby to keep you entertained as it begins to get colder and colder. Knitting is my go-to cold weather hobby. Some other fantastic options are crocheting, cross-stitching or jewelry making!

9. Horseback riding

Horseback riding is one of my boyfriends and my favorite activities. We try and go horseback riding whenever we’re on vacation because it’s such a great way to enjoy the local scenery, especially during fall!

10. Make pumpkin everything

You haven’t done fall right if you aren’t completely sick of pumpkin by the time the season ends.

Take the seeds from that pumpkin you carved, sprinkle them with salt, and pop them in the oven.

Try your hand at baking some delish pumpkin chocolate bread or cook up this pumpkin ravioli.

11. Have a bonfire

A bonfire is a great way to have a socially distanced get together and who doesn’t love smores?

12. Visit an apple orchard

There’s just something about picking your own apples that make them taste better! Visiting an apple orchard and enjoying some hot cider is one of my fave fall activities and it’s another activity you can see your friends while respecting social distancing.

13. Decorate your home

As soon as my birthday is over in September I’m all about decorating our apartment for fall. Right now we have about two tubs full of autumn decorations and I warned my boyfriend that will only grow when we get a house.

Put up those animatronic ghouls and fake spiderwebs. It’s not fall until you have a pumpkin in every room!

14. Binge-watch scary movies

If you want a good scare I really enjoyed The Boy. Some other great options are any of the Halloween movies, The Cabin in the Woods, Get Out, or a Quiet Place.

If horror movies aren’t your thing then Hocus Pocus is always a great Halloween themed movie to watch that won’t make you pee your pants in fear.

15. Light your fall scented candles or learn to make your own

My favorite candle ever is only available during the Fall season, but I was smart last year and stocked up so I could have it all year long.

Get in the Fall mood with pumpkin, cinnamon, or apple scented candles.

If you need even more ideas for new hobbies you can learn to make your own candles!

16. Find your way around a corn maze

Corn mazes are a great way to get some exercise outdoors and enjoy the season!

17. Take a scenic drive

Go for a relaxing drive and enjoy the leaves changing colors.

18. Learn how to cook a new fall dish

I’m all about turning to warmer, seasonal food when it gets chillier out. This instant pot chicken chili is a crowd-pleaser or try this harvest chicken casserole!

If you feel like you and your partner could communicate more effectively, or you just want to strengthen this aspect of your relationship, try out a few of the tips below.

Hold a weekly state of the union

I’m terrible at keeping secrets, so we’re going to start strong with my favorite relationship communication tip! 

Many companies do a State of the Union (SOTU) speech to let their employees know what’s going on in the company, what they’re working on, and what they’re looking to accomplish in the future. 

It helps to get the whole company on the same page and the same goes for your relationship.

This method was developed at The Gottman Institute, where I learned about it during a workshop I attended. My boyfriend and I have implemented it in our relationship. It’s been beneficial for making sure we continue to grow together and that we’re keeping one another informed on what we’re working on.

Pick a set time each week for when you’re going to sit down with each other and have a SOTU. The first few times, you might want to plan an hour, but once you get used to it, you can usually get it done in half an hour as long as there are no significant issues that need discussing. 

Try and meet earlier in the day so that neither of you is too tired and make sure you’ve eaten. I don’t know about you, but when I’m hangry I’m definitely not communicating at my best level.

What to discuss during your SOTU:

• What are some things you both did well in the past week?
  
• What are some things that didn’t go so well and what can you do to help improve on them for next time?
• Did any events come up in the past week that you want to talk about? These can be good or bad.
• What are you each individually going to work on during the upcoming week that pertains to your relationship? Are you going to try and listen better when your partner has a problem instead of trying to solve it right away? Is your partner going to try and be more attentive to you?
• What is something you’d like the other person to work on? Make sure to stay out of the blame game on this one. You’re simply letting them know a need you have that you’d like them to fulfill, not blaming them for something they aren’t doing. 

Share a calendar

Issues with scheduling seems to be the conflict that pops up the most often. At least in my experience!

Keeping track of the schedules for two different adults can be difficult and adding children into the mix just adds a whole extra complexity. 

Nothing can lead to an argument quite like your significant other forgetting dinner with your family or you being late to an important event because of scheduling issues. 

Scheduling mishaps are still going to occur, but trying to put everything onto a shared calendar can make a huge difference and help avoid communication errors.

Get a date night on the books

Speaking of scheduling…99% of the time if you don’t plan something then it won’t happen!

For relationships to work, you need to continue to put energy into them to keep that connection and communication flowing.

Find an evening you’re both free once a month and commit to having a date night where you put away your phones and set any other distractions together.

Try doing something interactive where conversation can flow like doing a virtual Bob Ross painting class or try out a new recipe together! Our personal favorite is doing a mystery box from Empty Faces because I like to think I was Nancy Drew in another life.

Date nights help you stay connected with one another even when life gets busy and keeps the channels of communication open. All the good feelings you get from spending some one-on-one time with each other will carry over into all aspects of your relationship.

Get rid of the distractions during conversation

When you’re talking with your partner about something important make sure you are both giving your undivided attention. Put away the phones and laptops. Turn off the TV and focus on each other.

When you’re done speaking make sure to check-in to make sure they’ve understood what you said or to confirm you’ve understood what they’ve been trying to communicate. 

I can’t count the number of times a disagreement could have been avoided if I had checked in to make sure my partner actually heard what I was saying. This might be an unpopular opinion, but it’s just as much the speaker’s job to confirm their message was heard as it is the listener to make sure they understand and ask any necessary questions.

Stop the blame game

I know it can be hard to remember in the middle of an argument that got away from you way too quickly, but you and your partner are on the same team. There are no winners. If one of you wins, you both lose!

The below communication habit can be really hard to start, but once you do, you’ll keep turning to it because it works!

Take a pause.

During a disagreement, emotions are running high and neither of you are your best selves. If you feel like you’re in the WWE Smackdown or see your partner getting overloaded then call a time-out. 

Go walk around the block or take 15-minutes to journal. You can even just distract yourself with a cute dog video! Remember, you aren’t storming out and making a dramatic exit. Before you leave, agree with your partner on a time to reconvene and continue the discussion with clearer minds. 

When you come back to the conversation try asking your partner questions to understand what they’re thinking. 

Deep down you do want to understand where your partner is coming from. It just got covered up momentarily with some anger. 

Let your partner speak and share their thoughts. When they’re done, explain your understanding of what they’re saying until they feel you’ve got it all. Then it’s your turn. 

There’s going to be a lot of things you don’t agree on in your relationship because you’re both different people. Learning to handle these differences is one of the keys to a successful relationship.

Yes, life can be chaotic, but if you set up a communication plan with your partner and instill regular habits to support clearer conversations you can tame that chaos and keep both of you on the same page.

Try incorporating a few of the above tips and watch your communication with your partner get stronger and more resilient to the little hiccups life throws your way!

• Decreasing your heart rate and blood pressure
• Digestion
• Inhibiting adrenaline production
• Relaxing muscles
• Restoring the body to a state of calm
• Inhibits release of glucose

• Controlling the bodies response during a life-threatening event
• Dilating pupils
• Releasing adrenaline
• Dilating bronchial tubes
• Shutting down functions not critical to survival like digestion
• Accelerates heart rate
• Stimulating the release of glucose for easy energy
• Secreting epinephrine and norepinephrine

How to practice breathwork for lowering anxiety

Box Breathing

Relaxing breath

Lion’s Breath

Just imagine for a quick sec being shut-in your house alone or with your family WITHOUT the internet to connect virtually with your besties, join online mixers, or get second by second updates on the latest and greatest banana bread recipes of all-time.

Yikes!

But as awesome as that all is, the digital age has had some detrimental effects on how friendships develop and the growth of our social skills.

These days it’s difficult to get a sentence in during a conversation, let alone have an entire meaningful conversation, without someone taking their phone out. We have so much information being thrown at us at any given second we’ve trained our brains to never be fully present. 

We’re facetiming with our best friend as they confide in us about their most recent break-up while we’re emailing back a client and painting our nails simultaneously.

Zooming with your sister and reading a post on Medium at the same time? Check!

With all these different things bidding for our attention, it can make forming deep friendships incredibly hard because our focus is split on this, that, and that other thing way over there. Yet many of us yearn for those deep connections and just don’t know how to actually make them happen or realize that we’re actually behaving in ways that prevent them from forming.

If this is you then put your arm through mine and I’ll show you how to develop deeper, long-lasting friendships with existing or new friends!

Put away the phone

I’m pretty sure you saw this one coming from a mile away (if you didn’t you might want to call your optometrist for an appointment).

If you’re trying to share something deep and personal, the last thing you want the person you’re confiding in to do is whip out their cell mid-chat. Nothing makes it more glaringly obvious that they don’t think what you’re saying is worth their undivided attention.

So don’t do this to others.

Just having your cell visibly out can split your focus even if you’re not actually using it! Do both of you a favor and ask if you two can just keep your phones in your purses while you share the tea and sip the coffee.

It might feel like an appendage is missing at first, but I promise you’ll see the benefits the first few times you do this.

At your funeral, no one is going to commend you on your quick text response skills. They’re going to remember you as someone who was present and a great listener!

Spread genuine compliments

If you see a fabulous woman wearing a pair of glam shoes you adore, tell her!

Did a coworker step in to help you with a project that went astray? Let him know how much his assistance really touched you.

The keyword here is genuine. Don’t just dish out compliments for compliment’s sake. Really mean them. 

People can just tell if you’re being inauthentic. They may not be able to put their finger on exactly why something is rubbing them the wrong way, but they’re subconscious can usually pick up that something isn’t quite right.

Plus, giving a dishonest compliment won’t feel nearly as good to you.

That smile and glimmer in their eye is a gift for you. YOU did that!

I know when someone gives me a compliment out of the blue it lights up my day.

Ask them questions

You can cultivate deeper friendships just by asking better questions.

Ask open-ended questions that give them the opportunity to continue sharing.

You’re showing them that you truly want to hear what they have to say and that you’re here for them.

Make sure you’re actually listening to their answers and asking follow-up questions. 

This tip seems like such an easy one, I know! But you’d be surprised how many people don’t actively ask their loved ones engaging questions.

Be intentional

I enjoy bluntness and I think life is way too short to spend it trying to be subtle about your intentions. If I want to be better friends with someone I’m more than likely just going to tell them that I’d like to cultivate a closer friendship and see if they’re up for it.

If that’s not your thing don’t worry about it! You can still be intentional.

Evaluate your existing friendships and ask yourself if any of them truly feel like you’re kindred spirits or cut from the same cloth. 

There’s nothing wrong with having more surface-level friendships. People can be just plain fun to hang out with without you wanting to take the friendship to another level. It’s good to evaluate your friendships so you can be aware of this and not waste your time trying to dive deep into a friendship only to realize it’s not really what you wanted with this specific person.

If no one in your current friend circle lights your fire, so to speak, start trying to be more open to new friendships. 

Sometimes this just means keeping your eyes open for opportunities to befriend new people and sometimes it means actively going to events, fitness classes, and being more social. It just depends on how often you interact with new groups.

Find your common interests

Shared interests usually translates into spending more time with someone and the more time you spend with someone the more chances there are to really get to know each other on a deeper level.

This is why so many solid friendships begin to develop at the gym, through a book club, or through continued education classes. You share a passion for a common interest and you’re getting a lot of face time with one another. This leaves you ample opportunities to connect.

If you’re looking to create a deeper friendship with someone who’s already in your friend group, see if they’re up for taking a class where you can both learn more about a mutual hobby or start going to weekly fitness classes together.

Get vulnerable

Don’t be afraid to dig deep and share your personal struggles and triumphs. Surface level friendships stay surface level because people are too afraid of being judged or rejected. They never share anything that truly matters to them because then if they’re rejected they can just say “well she didn’t know the REAL me so she isn’t really rejecting me.”

The problem with this is the more risks you take, the greater the reward. If you aren’t willing to risk letting someone into your personal life you’ll miss out on the connection two people can have when they’re truly there for one another.

Having friends who know your good and bad and still love you to bits is one of the most affirming gifts you can receive in life.

Humans are pack animals. We aren’t meant to traverse this world alone. 

It’ll feel downright scary at times to let someone see your soft underbelly, and you WILL get hurt when someone doesn’t like your particular brand of weird, but y’know what? That’s why you should do it.

If someone doesn’t accept you when you show them your authentic self in all its glory then they’re helping you by letting you know that they aren’t the right fit for you. It’s super easy for people to get along when you have a more shallow friendship because nothing really important is being discussed.

Deeper friendships mean deeper shares.

And don’t wait until they do it first. Take the lead! By taking the step to share something personal you’re letting them know it’s okay to share their inner lives too.

One thing to keep in mind on this one is you can’t jump over steps. As much as you might want to go straight from stranger to deep abiding friendship with that cool chick from yoga, it’s not a good idea. Friendship is like a house and you have to set the foundation before you can start building the rest.

Ditch the competition

Growing up doing theatre, I got to see firsthand how competitive women are with one another and it took me a decade to train myself out of this mindset so I could actually enjoy female friendships.

How are you supposed to open yourself up to someone when you have thoughts like “she’s so much prettier than me” or “how the heck did she get that job” ricocheting around in your head?

Drop the scarcity mindset. There’s enough for everyone, especially when we aren’t competing with each other!

Start supporting your female friends and the other women around you. We are stronger together. Fist pump!

Don’t sweep problems under the rug

If you have expectations that aren’t being met please make sure you’ve actually stated them out loud to your friend. I’m pretty sure she can’t read minds. If she CAN is she available to hire?

Anyway, if you’re upset about something your friend did or didn’t do then tell them! Don’t let it bubble up until it becomes something way more than it ever was or act standoffish until your friend gets that you’re giving them the cold shoulder. 

These behaviors are damaging to any kind of relationship and are extremely counterproductive if you want deeper friendships.

If you want fuller friendships you need to be willing to have the harder talks. In-person, please. Phone and text conversations are not the mediums to be used when something important is being discussed because it leaves way too many avenues for miscommunication. There’s no need to make a hard conversation even harder.

Take your daily dose of vitamin self-love

If you don’t love yourself and enjoy your own friendship you will consciously or unconsciously shortchange yourself in all your friendships. If you don’t think you’re good enough, it makes it that much harder to be vulnerable with others.

For a long time, I hated being alone with my own thoughts. 

If I was going to bed, the TV needed to be on. If I was doing chores, I needed music – anything to drown out my own negative thoughts and self-doubt.

Once I learned to love my own company and started talking to myself like I would to my best friend, my energy changed. What I was putting out into the world changed and the friendships I attracted were matching what I was throwing down.

Like attracts like. If you’re feeling less than and your self-worth is in the gutter, spend time doing some inner work. It’s hard, but it is SO worth it.

Building deep friendships is important for our health and wellbeing.

Whether it’s support from a co-worker after messing up on a project or your sister offering a shoulder to cry on when you’re going through a break-up, a strong support network can help us bounce back more quickly.

Even though friendships may look different these days due to how virtual our world has become and the added complexity of COVID, at the root it remains the same.

Friendship is building a bridge between you and someone else made of time, compassion, and shared interests. 

Try out some of the tips above for cultivating a deeper friendship and you will see the results start to play out in your life.

You got this, babe!