“First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not.” – Octavia Butler

That quote is only one of the many such words of wisdom that remind us that habits are the foundation to success. A daily routine will reduce the clutter in your mind so you can be more creative in your work. Yet still, that’s easier said than done.

I don’t know about you, but habits have been a constant struggle in my life. I read the Power of Habit and Atomic Habits and 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I implemented their methods but nothing seemed to stick. None of them aligned well with how my brain actually works. 

Then one day I heard about the Clean With Me podcast. I thought it was great. It took the decision-making out of a not-so-desirable necessity. Rather than feeling overwhelmed by what to clean or where to clean, I just hit play and she guides me through the process.

Then I thought–what if this was more expansive? What if I just had to hit play in the morning and the rest of my day was decided for me? 

This thought led me to devise The Playlist Method.

How The Playlist Method Works To Guide A Productive Week

It’s a simple concept. 

Create a playlist that’s filled with music you absolutely adore. Then intersperse blocks of  “good habit” activities you want to add to your day. 

Some examples:

• Daily affirmations
• Meditation
• Exercise
• Stretching
• Deep Work
• Cues to take a break

Once you put in that initial work, all you have to do is hit play and let the playlist guide you through your day. This eliminates the guesswork, the paralyzing effects of indecisiveness, and reduces decision fatigue.

The easiest way to understand how it works is to look at an example.

My Monday Playlist

Let me walk you through my Monday playlist. 

I use Spotify but don’t let the platform you use limit the possibilities of this method. Get creative with how you use songs and sounds to cue different activities.

Morning Routine 

I have headphones set right next to my phone so as soon as I turn off my alarm, I put them on and start my Monday Playlist. 

Right from the start, I’m greeted with one of my favorite songs (“Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO). It’s so happy and upbeat that it alone works wonders to encourage a positive mood to start the day.

I use this first song to use the bathroom and brush my teeth and give my dogs a chance to wake up. As the playlist continues, I put on my shoes and leash my dogs and head out the door for our morning walk.

This walk takes about 25 minutes, so I include enough songs to cover its entire length plus buffer time.

At the end, I have a cue song (“Friday Morning” by Khruangbin). I use this in the same spot every day to let myself know that the next set of activities is coming.

This song leads me into my morning affirmation. I use a bonus episode of the podcast Better With Paul where the host says an affirmation for positive thinking.

This flows into 10 minutes of morning meditation. I found an artist called Sound Dreamer who has a wide selection of sounds at set lengths of time. You could use these for any number of activities.

Now that I’m relaxed and clear-headed, it’s time for some energy. I use a podcast called Tiny Workouts where the host guides you through short, simple workouts. Monday is arms and shoulders for me.

After this, I have another block of my favorite music during which I shower and dress, feed my dogs and myself, and then walk to the local cafe. 

Total time: 1 hr 40 m 03 s. The playlist also functions to keep me on time in the morning.

The Work Day

I use 4 x 90 minute blocks of Brown Noise as working sessions for a total of 6 dedicated hours of focused work. 

Between each block I have 3 – 5 songs that cue me to take a break. During this time, I will get up, stretch, walk around, grab a coffee refill, or eat a snack. I don’t eat again until after work so snack breaks are essential.

After Work

After the last 90-minute session, there’s an extended block of music which guides me home and into whatever my plans are for the latter part of the day.

At this point, I often stop the playlist while I socialize with friends and family, watch TV/movies, read, run, walk and listen to an audiobook, etc.

Bedtime Routine

The crucial second decision of the day is jumping back into the playlist to set my bedtime. 

When I’ve concluded my evening plans, I check the time to see how long I have until I need to start my bedtime routine.  I divide this by 4, which creates an approximate number of songs I’ll need to cover the time. For example:

60 minutes / 4 = 15 songs

4 minutes per song is the closest approximation where the math is still easy.

I count back that many songs from the end of the playlist and hit play.

I use another Khruangbin song (“White Gloves”) to cue the start of my bedtime routine, which includes skin care and teeth care and other prep.

Then I have another Tiny Workout–this one for stretching–another Better With Paul affirmation–this one for self-love–and a final 10 minute block of soothing sounds for evening meditation.

At this point the playlist concludes, which is a cue to put my phone away for the day. I set it and my headphones to charge and spend the rest of the night reading until it’s time to go to sleep.

Other Days Of The Week

I went further and created a different playlist for each day of the week. You can see each of them here:

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

Each playlist has a different feel to reflect how I think that day feels. It’s fun to get cutsie with selections like “Stuck in the Middle with You” on Wednesday or “Friday I’m in Love” on Friday.

Even though creating all these playlists is more work upfront, it has a few advantages:

• New music each day so it doesn’t get stale
• Variable workouts to hit each part of the body
• Different routine structures depending on the goal of the day

Customize It For Yourself

Obviously, each of these is custom-tailored for my day and my goals. The key to the success of this method is putting in the initial work to make the playlist work for you.

• Choose music that you absolutely adore so you’ll be excited to hit play.
• Base the length of each block around your schedule.
• Include the activities that you want to do based on your goals.
• Pick podcast episodes with hosts who you enjoy listening to. 

The reason I chose Better With Paul and Tiny Workouts is because I love the hosts. The sound of their voices, the background music, and their encouraging nature. They feel like good friends and make me excited to incorporate those activities into my life.

Set it up so that you want to use the method, rather than feeling like you have to follow it. This mental distinction is essential for the method to work.

How To Simplify The Playlist Method

This whole full-day thing may feel a bit overwhelming. You don’t need to plan out your entire day to make use of this method. 

Instead, you can just make a morning routine playlist that guides you from bed to the office. Or just an evening playlist that ensures you get to bed on time.

The concept is flexible. Fit it to your needs and your goals.

Looking To The Future

It’s important to make adjustments regularly. 

• Change the songs to keep it fresh. 
• Change what activities you do as your goals change. 
• Change the order based on what’s working or not working.

Anytime you start to feel the monotony of the routine, switch it up instead of abandoning it altogether.

This method has been transformative for me. I’m feeling mentally and physically healthier, and I’m getting more done than I ever have before. I hope that you can find similar benefits from this method.

Appreciation from others is a vital part of feeling like your efforts are meaningful – no matter what the outcome of said efforts. It’s natural to be keen to spread good vibes by appreciating those around us.

Our ability to appreciate each other is limitless – isn’t it?

What is appreciation burnout?

The concept of burnout might feel relatively contemporary, but it has roots in early psychology. The term was coined in the 1970s by American psychologist Herbert Freudenberger, who described the consequences of severe stress and high ideals in ‘helping’ professions; emergency doctors, firefighters, ambulance crews, and similar high-stress jobs.

As we’ve collectively moved towards various forms of ‘hustle’ culture, burnout has become a common experience across more and more industries.

Appreciation burnout is a bit of a sidestep from mainstream burnout, but overspending of energy categorizes both.

Appreciation burnout is when we invest a significant portion of our time and energy into focusing on celebrating, motivating, and encouraging others. We forget to leave something over for ourselves. It’s a term that’s starting to crop up more within organizational psychology, but it applies more generally across our lives.

This is especially true in a digital-heavy world where we are faced with constant streams of content from hundreds of people. We all want to feel connected and supportive, but there has to be a line somewhere – appreciating every single thing about every single person you interact with on and offline is going to take its toll without some positive boundaries.

Four signs of appreciation burnout

It might sound a little counterintuitive. After all, gratitude and appreciation for the good stuff – and people – in life are well known as an antidote to burnout and feeling low.

As with much in life, it’s all about balance.

You’ve probably heard about ‘toxic positivity’? It’s kind of the same deal. Here are three signs of appreciation burnout to look out for:

• Your appreciation starts to feel inauthentic.

Something that makes appreciation so powerful is its authenticity. Without that, it’s pretty meaningless. It might be time for a break if you’re offering words of appreciation, posts of gratitude, or cheerleading others without feeling good about it. Inauthenticity will start, but you’ll also feel exhausted by the effort. Worse, over time, you may resent spending your energy on this.

• You’re not feeling a lot of reciprocation.

The purpose of appreciation and gratitude is not to receive something back – it’s about offering genuine sentiments. That said, if you’re the one giving all of your time and energy to others and not feeling valued or appreciated in return, it will quickly lead to burnout. 

• You can’t remember the last time you celebrated your achievements.

You can’t pour from an empty cup, as they say, and if you’re so focused on ensuring everyone around you is complete, what time and space are you leaving for yourself? Feeling appreciated is nice, but it comes from internal acknowledgment and external. 

• ‘Forgetting’ to appreciate someone is starting to make you feel anxious.

We all have full lives with a lot going on. Keeping track of what everyone is up to can feel overwhelming! The immediacy of our digitally focused days can lead us to think we have to be on it all the time. If forgetting or being delayed in offering thanks, appreciation, or gratitude to someone is causing you to feel anxious or think negatively about yourself and your interactions with others, it could signify appreciation burnout.

5 steps to counter appreciation burnout

Appreciation has a substantial role to play in our lives, which is why we must ensure we get the balance right.

If you identify with any of the signs above, it’s time to take a step back and reassess the role of appreciation in your life. Here are five steps to help you find a better balance:

1. Firstly, take a little break – especially if appreciation is starting to make you feel anxious. Take some time out to reset and rethink the role of gratitude in your life.
2. Next, revisit what authentic appreciation means to you – When we express genuine appreciation we do not just recognize someone’s accomplishments, but the impact actions have collectively and individually.
3. Ask yourself ‘why’ – are you offering appreciation with an ulterior motive? Are you secretly hoping for reciprocation or looking to bank some brownie points for a later date? If so, step away. Re-evaluate the role of appreciation.
4. Know that there’s not always a need for immediacy with authentic appreciation – Coming back to someone to offer genuine words of gratitude after a brief time will feel better for everyone involved, rather than rushing or forcing your appreciation and having it fall a bit flat.
5. Dedicate time to self-appreciating – Don’t forget to give yourself a pat on the back now and then. Being your own biggest cheerleader and feeling proud of your achievements creates a well of self-value without the need for external validation. This also helps set you up to continue offering positive, authentic appreciation to others – because you know the energy that sits behind what they’re trying to achieve.

Find the joy in appreciation

For me, the most significant sign that appreciation burnout might be getting the better of me is when I find myself cringing at the appreciation or gratitude I try to offer.

That’s when I know I’m not being authentic – and it doesn’t mean I’m not genuinely appreciative, but I’m falling flat on being able to offer my thoughts in a way that promotes the good about appreciation.

Appreciation should be a joyful act – for everyone involved in the process – we should all walk away feeling a little lighter and a little brighter.

If you’re finding the act of appreciation is more drag than joy, consider whether burnout is taking over and work on getting back to some balance.

That’s fair, but it also calls to mind how living better in the tough times makes the good times so much richer.

What if you challenged yourself to be capable of living well in every season?

The goal here is to operate at a frequency so high that you can easily navigate the hard stuff and truly appreciate the beauty in the simple things. When you’re living this way then the good things will happen more often and you can take yourself even higher when it’s time.

1. Gratitude

Each morning take a few minutes to name five things from the previous 24 hours to be grateful for.

It’s a simple practice that allows you to see things through a lens of goodness. You can speak these to yourself or write them in a journal. The little things like a delicious latte, comfortable sweats, or the sounds of nature in your neighborhood.

When you actively pause and give thanks for all of the small things you will automatically attract more to be thankful for and you are preparing yourself to receive the big things. 

2. Routine

Adopt ritualistic behaviors that serve you. If you need alone time to live as your best self but you live in a house full of people then get up earlier than everyone else to give yourself the necessary time to prepare for the day.

Forget your vitamins? Make it a ritual to take your vitamins when you feed the dog. The less you have to think about what to do next, the easier it will be to make clear decisions. 

3. Movement

The body you are occupying right now is the exact same body that carries you through every single day of this life, honor it by moving every day. What you need one day may be high-intensity circuit training or it could be restorative yoga. The kind of movement you perform matters less than the recognition that a body in motion stays in motion. 

4. Awareness

Get to know yourself well. There’s a deep risk of spending our lives chasing things that other people tell us matter. What actually matters to you? What are your triggers? When you really spend the time to understand what drives you and what drains you, it is much easier to make smart choices about how to spend your time. Great ways to build self-awareness include personality tests (Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, etc); freestyle journaling on your emotions, and mindfulness meditation.

5. Dream

Make the time to write a future journal entry from your life ten years from now. This is a snapshot of your dream life. Be very specific about where you are, who you’re with, what you’re doing for work and for pleasure, what you eat, what you wear, and how you feel. You can only know that you are working for the right things when you know what you want most. Living a dream life begins with getting very clear on the actual dream.

6. Intentionality

Know exactly what you want from each day and live in the way that honors that. If your ten-year dream includes you being retired then it may not be the right time to buy a new boat. If you want a high vibe day then don’t bring home a dozen donuts. If you need to cultivate some calm, be sure to prioritize meditation and a peaceful outdoor walk. This focused success happens day by day and turns into living a life of purpose.

7. Connection

Be fully engaged with others in many different ways. This doesn’t always have to be in person, but it does mean connecting beyond likes and digital impressions. Join a book club, chat with your neighbors in the front yard, text someone the minute you are thinking of them and tell them “just because”. The more you have in common with others in the world, the less alone you will feel when you are having an off day.

8. Learning

Trying new things and learning as an adult can enhance your understanding of the world and improve your quality of life. Developing new skills builds confidence and increases the likelihood of professional promotion, accepting new challenges, and improved cognitive functioning. All of these are winners in my book! Read new stories, take a language class, or swap in one documentary before you binge Outer Banks.

9. Adventure

Much like learning, there is deep value in being adventurous. This isn’t exclusive to physical adventure – you definitely do not have to go skydiving – but what can you do to exit your comfort zone and get inspired?

Safe and simple ideas include hiking new trails in a neighboring town, taking a train trip instead of driving to a destination, or booking a solo weekend somewhere you’ve never been. Each time you surprise your brain and break out of the monotony of the known you are forging new paths for creativity and joy.

10. Rest

Living your best life means that you are healthy and consistently nourished. Every suggestion here is irrelevant if you are burned out and exhausted. Make rest a top priority in your schedule. If your new routine includes getting up earlier then you need to go to bed earlier. If you have a vigorous workout regimen you need to build in days for your body to recover.

The ten year dream is the best version of you and she knows that all good things flow from wholeness. Prioritize your rest and watch your waking hours become more productive and vibrant.

Your best life is within your reach and always in your control. A little shift in mindset, the adoption of some simple practices, and a commitment to yourself can get you there quicker than you can even imagine.

Since many places are still facing social distancing or even lockdown due to a second wave happening, what about being creative and going virtual hygge this year?

The key idea behind hygge

Pronounced ‘hoo-ga’, this is the Danish word that could be translated simply as ‘coziness’, but in fact, it’s much more than that – it’s an entire attitude to life in which people value going back to basics.

The first step is to slow down. We are always rushing, have somewhere to be and we are thinking about the next thing we have to do but to truly hygge you need to slow down and make your well-being a priority. 

The key idea behind hygge is to enjoy the environment around you and what better place than your own home?

Scandinavian design is often about clean spaces, whitewashed walls, signature lights and lamps, and bringing old, traditional pieces with a history together. Hygge is about feeling homey, being in a space that feels good to be in, and having pieces around you that make you feel happy.

Due to increasingly stressful lives, an emphasis is placed on the need to ‘escape’ everyday life to experience true relaxation. 

Christmas Hygge feelings

The holiday season calls for coziness. The weather outside is cold and snowy (depending on where you live of course), the twinkling lights everywhere telling us Christmas is almost there, Christmas wreaths on everybody’s doors, baking cinnamon rolls, Christmas movie nights with our loved ones, and the most important and most magical task of all – decorating the tree!

So, isn’t it the perfect match to give Christmas holiday a Hygge touch and innovate a bit going virtual?

Here are four creative ways to incorporate Hygge in our so called new normal in which everything is virtual for now…

1. Tree decorating party

When I think everything Christmas, I think of twinkling lights and obviously, decorating the tree. The entire family can make an event out of it by live-chatting as they decorate their trees. Simply set a tree decorating time that works for everyone, and then you can all decorate it and be safe in your home at the same time. It’s a fun way to share one of the most magical parts of the season. You’ll be able to see and talk about your family’s decorations and create a sense of connection while chatting about old Christmas gatherings, telling each other stories, going live on Instagram, and sharing pics of your trees. 

2. Bake cookies together

Everyone in the family can set a time and choose cookies that they’d like to make and then have a group baking party with their phones. Everyone can make different cookies and share the pics on Instagram. And to add a little ante, why not have your family or IG followers vote on the most beautiful cookies in your stories? 

You can also swap your very favorite cookie recipe with another family member and bake each other’s recipe. 

After everything we all went through during this year of 2020 – this Holiday season comes with a great reminder: We should celebrate the joys of life, the little things in life that make us smile, and value those dear to our hearts! The spirit of Christmas is in your heart, and you can connect those across any distance.

3. Cozy crafting night on Zoom

DIY in style – Host a crafting night for your friends and family. This is, once again, something you can do both in person or virtually. Pick a craft you want to complete – a DIY ornament, mason jar gifts, wreaths, or maybe something for the kids. Whatever you decide, make it festive with some Christmas music going on. 

4. Christmas gift baskets 

Not having that usual big Christmas family gathering this year to exchange presents? No worries.

You can take advantage of the crafting night to decide on what items you should pick for a lovely Christmas basket and send your loved ones a very cozy and festive gift through the mail.

You can pick and choose what you want to put into this cozy gift basket, you may even think of some items that aren’t listed here. These are just simple, affordable items that can be apart of any gift basket for someone you like.

Cozy gift basket ideas:

1. Fluffy socks 
2. Cuddly toy
3. Woolly hat
4. Cozy blanket 
5. Mug 
6. Hot Chocolate
7. Homemade cookies
8. Scented candle
9. Book 
10. Pajamas / Christmas sweater 

Pamper Gift Basket Ideas:

1. Essential oils
2. Book 
3. Face masks
4. Fluffy socks
5. Tea
6. Hand cream 
7. Bath/Shower loofa
8. Comfy blanket 
9. Scented Candles
10. Chocolates

These pamper gifts will hopefully inspire you for what you want to put into your special someone’s Pamper Gift Hamper. 

Are you having a virtual Christmas this year? Let us hear your fun, hygge at home ideas!

Well, first off, becoming a minimalist doesn’t need to involve living off-grid or giving away all your belongings, but it does require the mentality of less is more.

Minimalism is a lifestyle that involves less whether it’s in terms of home, possessions, or just the way you think, and how you want to live in this capacity is totally up to you. 

As long as you have a desire to get rid of the clutter and create space then you could benefit from a minimalistic lifestyle. Beyond the freedom of more space, imagine the money and savings increase when you’re spending less on “stuff”.

We lived in the UK for five years and at first, I was shocked by how everything was tiny and people weren’t busy. For a while, it felt uncomfortable not being busy. 

I was used to buying things and not spending time with my husband and son. We also, give up the big house for a small house with a big yard! I was happy living with less and building a strong relationship with my family and friends. It’s healthy for your body and mind to live minimally.

Here are the seven key benefits of being a minimalist.

1. It improves your mental health.

You are a product of your environment. If your home is messy and cluttered, then so is your mind. Have you ever felt like you couldn’t think clearly – only to realize you are sitting in a messy space? Recently I was having issues focusing only to realize my room was untidy. Once I straighten up the place, the ideas seemed to flow.

2. It helps you focus on what matters.

In life what matters most is the people, you love, family, and friends. When life is coming to an end, it’s rare that people look back and say they loved the Mercedes they had more than anything. It’s more likely you will say things like I wish I spent more time with my children, or I loved the solo hiking trips I would take in the mountains. So, having fewer things to focus on will give you the opportunity to do what is important to you.

3. Your home will be easier to clean.

If you don’t love cleaning your home, this one is for you. Having fewer things to pick up and put away and cleaning, in general, will be done very quickly. The more years you live in your home the more clutter you seem to accumulate. Imagine your car fitting into the garage.

4. There is freedom in owning less stuff.

There is freedom in letting go. In life the more you hold onto things physically and mentally, the more you’re weighted down. Again, this has to do with the visual and mental overwhelm you experience when there is too much cluttered around. You will begin to feel better. Studies have shown that dopamine is released when you are able to let objects go.

5. It improves creativity.

Many times, you lack creativity because you’re just too darn busy. By doing less you’ll, in fact, evoke creativity. You’ll begin to find ways to approach problems, interesting ideas will come. And you will finally have time to implement them. They will no longer be a wish or dream, but your reality.

6. You’ll save money. 

Becoming a minimalist will improve your finances. The American culture puts a lot of emphasis on houses, cars, careers, and other material objects that symbolize wealth. But you will learn that living with less actually means more. You will have more time to contribute to yourself and in turn, give to others. You feel truly alive when you give. Giving is living.

7. Health will become better.

You live in a world today where there is no shortage of stress, and being overwhelmed can cause tremendous problems for health. This year 2020 was one of the biggest pandemics in history and many people didn’t know what to do with themselves as everyone’s lives came to a halt. The stress of staying healthy and employed became a big issue for many. Being a minimalist would have allowed you to still enjoy life, because you would have already been comfortable living with less.

It’s so much easier to start living a happier life in 2021, once you take the pressure off to always be doing and having more.

I am a chronic overthinker. By nature, I thrive in a world characterized by preparation, well-thought-out plans, and backup plans. I struggle to dive headfirst into anything in my life without overthinking the best and worst-case situation in different scenarios. Do you know the feeling?

As dreamers, doers, and go-getters, thinking through our grand plans isn’t necessarily a bad idea. But failing to proceed with your plans as a result of overthinking will only hold you back from pursuing your dreams. Analysis paralysis comes at a cost. It’s important to be able to recognize and address overthinking when possible. 

Here are the eight best tips and tricks that have helped me address moments of overthinking in my life. 

Acknowledge your thoughts.

If you want to develop strategies to stop overthinking, you have to be willing and able to acknowledge your thoughts. Familiarize yourself with your thoughts so much so that you can quickly identify when you’re falling into a cycle of overthinking. When you do catch yourself overthinking a decision, start by asking yourself the following: 

• Am I feeling stressed or anxious? 
• Are these thoughts preventing me from being able to focus? 
• What am I really afraid of? 
• When did these thoughts start?

Growing your self-awareness and being able to recognize overthinking in its tracks is key. 

Reframe your mindset.

I don’t know about you, but I never catch myself overthinking about a scenario positively. More often than not, we’re worried about all of the things that might go wrong. Rarely, if ever, do we catch ourselves thinking about all of the possibilities that might work out and go right.

When you catch yourself overthinking, reframe your mindset. Set the worst-case scenarios aside and consider what your specific situation would be like if it worked out exactly as you want it to. Manifest those positive vibes! 

Erase the idea of perfectionism. 

I’ve learned over time that one of the main reasons I struggle with overthinking is because I hold myself to high standards. I want the execution of my idea to be perfect, so I find myself stuck overanalyzing until I feel like I can execute my idea perfectly. Can you guess what happens next? 

I never give myself the grace to START, because it’s impossible to reach a perfect vision. Listen up and write this one down –perfectionism does not exist, not even by our standards. Erase the idea of perfectionism and stop waiting until you feel ready to jump all in. Just jump! 

Make fear your friend.

Fear is closely tied to overthinking, and one of the best ways to combat overthinking is to make fear your friend.

If you’re afraid to dive in, afraid you’re making the wrong choice, afraid you will be judged, it’s safe to say that fear is ultimately what’s holding you back. If you make fear your friend, your thoughts will become less frightening. 

Try meditation. 

Meditation will help you focus on the present moment, rather than caught up in the mistakes of the past, or fears of the future. Schedule time to meditate as part of your daily routine.

The key to a successful meditation practice is to give yourself space and time to truly quiet your mind and silence your thoughts. You can also use meditation techniques when you’re feeling overwhelmed to calm your mind and body in the immediate moment. 

Start a gratitude practice. 

Similar to reframing your mindset, grounding yourself in gratitude has proven to better the lives of those who are consistent in their practice. Start a gratitude journal and commit to reflecting on what you’re thankful for every day as part of your daily routine. Gratitude is good for you. 

Set a worry time limit. 

Sometimes the thoughts and concerns that come up during a period of overthinking are valid and shouldn’t be brushed off. I’ve had very reasonable concerns come up during overthinking that require my attention. If this happens to you, I recommend setting a worry time limit in which you give yourself uninterrupted time to hear your thoughts and worries out.

Once your time limit is up, do your best to shed those worries and move on. Just be sure to be reasonable with the time limits you set. For example, giving yourself three hours to worry and overthink may do much more harm than good.

Giving yourself ten minutes might not be anywhere near enough. Find a time limit that works for you and allows you to feel better at the end of the time limit. 

Enjoy some time outside to reset. 

You’ve likely heard this one time and time again, but it works! Head outside and take time to reset. Rather than just sitting outside, I always recommend choosing an outdoor activity that will require your focus and attention.

Moderate hikes may require you to focus on where you’re stepping, which can help quiet and distract your mind. I enjoy fishing because it requires concentration and quiet, both of which allow me to enjoy the present moment. 

Always remember that you are in control of your thoughts! You can put an end to overthinking any time you want to.

I decided to get two tattoos for my first tattoo experience – both small and meaningful. One was of the heart chakra, to remind myself of the importance of self-love, and the other was a quote, “I carry the fire,” to remind myself that I’m in charge of lighting and guiding my own path in life.

After getting these tattoos, anytime I would start to date someone new, I would be reminded daily of the importance of self-love and self-worth when I looked at my tattoos. If someone wasn’t giving me honesty, love, kindness or respect, I would love myself enough to walk away.

This new outlook and symbolism did a lot for me within the first two years of getting them. I was able to return home, not get back with my ex, begin a new job at a start-up company that allowed me to travel to various cities in North America, and meet all sorts of great people. My life was thriving with self-love and personal development.

Then, years went by and I continued to feel good until I started a new relationship with someone. This relationship was far more stressful and unhealthy than any I had in the past. It started with so much passion and excitement that I didn’t really pay attention to the red flags. It then flipped so quickly into toxicity and dangerous territory that by the time it actually ended, I barely felt anything except numbness, emptiness, confusion, and little motivation to pull me out of this depressive state.

I remember barely being able to function and then scoffing at my tattoos thinking “you were a real help,” while looking down at my heart chakra. However, that realization was what I needed to motivate me to get back to the basics of loving myself. That’s when I decided to create my own daily mantras to help me get back on track in life. I put my mantras on bright colored sticky notes all over my bedroom door.

Here were some of my bedroom door mantras:

– Keep going.
– Drink a glass of water at the start of every morning.
– Make time for sleep and rest.
– Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
– Be grateful.
– Progress, not perfection.
– Trust your instincts.
– Remember your goals and why you started.
– You are worthy of love.
– Eat healthy and treat your body right.
– You’re beautiful inside and out.
– Don’t deprive yourself of the joy you deserve.

All these daily reminders helped push me into doing something healthy amidst my dark times. Seeing the power of mantras in dark times led me to see how they’d be beneficial during good times. Once I healed myself, I carried on writing mantras and applied them to different areas of my life, from morning routines to coping with anxiety.

For my mornings, my mantras include:

• This is a new day, full of many opportunities to learn and be grateful.
• Remember to smile, it’s contagious and can brighten another person’s day which in turn, can brighten yours.
• Always find the silver lining of anything unexpected.
• Stay positive. Very little comes from negativity.

For night, I’m all about trying to get in a relaxed, anxiety-free mindset as I’m a bit of an over-thinker, so my mantras are:

• I welcome sleep with every breath I take, I become calmer and at peace.
• My bed is comfortable; I am warm and content. I am grateful for this.
• A good night’s rest gives you a clear head tomorrow to solve any worries.

For anxiety, especially amidst a pandemic, my mantras are:

• My thoughts do not control me; I control my thoughts.
• You can only control yourself and what you choose to let impact your thoughts.
• My body is my temple and I choose to keep it calm, still and at peace.
• Everything that happens is helping me grow and evolve.

One of the daily mantras that I repeat and remind myself of often is a variation of a Mark Twain quote which is “If you don’t like the weather, wait 10 minutes.” What this means for me, in a non-literal sense, is feelings and emotions often change and to be mindful of this when we’re feeling hopeless or upset. Whether they are positive or negative, feelings can pass or evolve often within 10 minutes or so, and sometimes just being aware of this can help calm us. If I’m feeling bad, I think of it just like when it’s raining, it’s not permanent and the sun will show again.

I encourage anyone who hasn’t taken the time to come up with their own mantras to set aside some time to do so. Start simple and small, then build on it. Start with a daily mantra to say to yourself for a week, see how it impacts your thoughts and motivation, and then slowly expand and build upon it.

So, instead of trying to think of what you should do in the moment, when you don’t have an ounce of energy to spare – why not create a self-care menu where you can pick and select the “meal” that is most appetizing?

A self-care menu is a great way to identify the things that are surefire ways to get yourself out of a funk and leveling up your mood.

So, how can you create this menu for optimal results?

1. Test

Before you add something to the standard menu, test it like you would a seasonal item. Add it into your rotation, and document how it makes you feel. Does it boost your energy? Mood? Write it down, so that you can remember the way it made you feel. 

After testing it out a few times with good results, you can add it to the go-to list.

2. Create an ABC Method for your menu

One of the common things we tend to do when creating plans for ourselves is to overestimate what we’re capable of doing on a less energetic day. 

Create a multi-level system like our signature ABC method for your self-care. 

Our ABC Plan is based on the typical all-or-nothing mentality that we can have when crafting our routines. Creating a back-up plan system to combat those not-so-perfect days can be such a helpful practice.

So, how does it work?

Well, Plan A is going to be your ideal self-care plan. That will be the thing that has amazing results for you, but requires a good amount of energy. 

Plan B is going to be the back-up plan for when you don’t have much energy, but enough to do something like a workout and reading a book.

And Plan C is when you have barely enough energy to get out of bed. Maybe that plan is to pull out a notebook and write down three things you’re grateful for.

You want to craft these ahead of time, so that when you have the lowest amount of energy, you still do something on your self-care menu that helps you feel at least a little bit better. And you already know what that activity is so that it doesn’t take any thinking.

3. Select more than one from the menu

Consider your self-care menu choices appetizer style. Depending on the self-care activity, you might need to do a few items on the list to make a lasting difference in your mood. Choose three, and get to work without allowing yourself the time to overthink or go into “but I don’t feel like it” mode. You can always talk yourself out of anything – but it’s important to remind yourself of how it’ll make you feel after.

4. Include these menu essentials

There are some proven ways to boost your mood and energy, and you’ll likely be able to guess them. They’re the classics for a reason.

Make sure these are on your list – in some form – because they’ll be the most effective. And before you decide that a day is bad – ask yourself if you have done these things lately. Most likely, the answer is no.

It’s so helpful to recognize that and realize that there’s nothing wrong with you. You just need to add in some good habits back into your routine.

• Exercise
• Drink water
• Practice gratitude 
• Meditate (or some form of mindfulness)

5. Plan ahead, print if you need to

Don’t come up with your self-care menu in the moment. The point of the menu is to have a go-to, pre-planned list of self-care activities that are tried-and-true personalized methods for getting you to a better emotional state. 

Have this list available to you either on your phone (so you have it with you at all times).

You might even want to print it, so you can see and remind yourself of the action steps you need to take daily to feel like your best self.

6. Travel-friendly list

For the busy, on-the-go ladies, make sure that some of your menu items are flexible and able to be adapted for on-the-go and travel-friendly. And before a trip, or before you hit the road, be sure to include anything you’ll need to implement your self-care menu.

Being prepared helps you to have less anxiety about how you’ll handle it if you need an immediate dose of self-care.

This could be making sure you have healthy snacks, bringing your yoga mat, checking to see if there are safe areas to walk where you’ll be going, or making sure you set an alarm on your phone to take regular breaks during the day.

7. Keep it to 10 or less

Feel free to break this rule if you want to, but I find that a list of 10 or fewer go-to self-care activities is the perfect amount. When we don’t have a lot of energy to spare, the last thing we want to do is make a hard decision. And the more options we have, the harder it will be to choose.

8. Make it simple, actionable and easy to implement

Again, we want to keep our menu items simple and straightforward so that we actually take action. There’s no point in a self-care menu if we’re never ordering from the list.

Write down specifics. For example, if you have “take a walk” listed, create a go-to route to take. If you have “dress up and put on makeup” on the list, have a sexy outfit that you look bomb in and a lipstick that you get tons of compliments on. The less that you have to think about the action steps, the easier it is to implement – so have it all mapped out ahead of time. 

Self-care is so essential for filling up our cups, so that we can become our best selves. Having a go-to list can help us navigate those days where we’re not flowing, and we need an extra boost. 

Implementing these menu items on the good days will help to make sure that there are fewer bad ones. So, feed off this menu daily – and work to make these into habits that you don’t even need to think about in the future.

We’re constantly seeking more, and it can be upsetting when things aren’t going away. But don’t we have enough already? We should always keep striving for better, while being truly thankful for what we have. Because who we are is enough, what we have is enough, and what we do is enough.

Gratitude morning texts

Sending good morning texts gets a whole lot better when you mix in a little gratitude. Ask a friend or your partner if they’d be up for exchanging three gratitudes every morning. Your partner will lay out three things they’re grateful for that morning and you’ll send yours. It’s so simple, but it starts your morning off well. Even on the worst of mornings, there’s always something to be grateful for––even if it’s just sunshine or clean drinking water.

Gratitude walks

Have you been on a walk lately without your phone? If not, here’s a fun way to enhance your walk without technology. Start listing off the things you’re grateful for––verbally or silently. You can go into what you have and what you don’t have yet. Talk about what you don’t have as if you already have it. It totally gives you those happy feelings even though you’re not there yet. It helps you picture it and feel like it is possible, because hey girl––your dreams can come true if you believe in them.

Gratitude journal

You knew this would be on the list, but I’m going to make it a little more interesting than writing down what you’re grateful for everyday in a regular old gratitude journal, which is totally a good way to do gratitude, of course. All you need is a journal, and if you’re like me, you already have several blank ones lying around––but you’ll probably still use this as an excuse to buy a new one.

Whether you use a gratitude journal or make your own, the ritual of it is what’s so empowering. You either wake up or go to sleep thinking about all the wonderful things in your life.

Gratitude tracker

If you bullet journal, you can create your own gratitude tracker. You write down all the days in the month (find some examples on Pinterest for layout ideas!) and write one or two things you’re grateful for there. If you love being held accountable, it’s a good way to visually stay consistent, because if you miss a day, your tracker isn’t complete.

Gratitude Facebook group 

Have a group of friends who are also looking for a gratitude practice? You can make your own Facebook group and make it into a daily challenge for 30 days of gratitude, where you list 1-3 things each day that you’re grateful for. This could be a great way to keep up with friends in a contained way, without blowing up the group chat. You can check in once every morning or evening. You can also join a gratitude Facebook group like The Gratitude Circle, where you can scroll through hundreds of gratitude posts and contribute your own.

If you don’t want to commit to a Facebook group, try to show your friends that you are thinking of them with tagging them in posts on Instagram or Facebook that make you think of them. I have a couple friends who do this, and it always makes me smile.

Gratitude jar

A gratitude jar is an ongoing project that you can start at the beginning of the year to document all the good things that happen throughout it––from the big life changes to the small ones that made you so happy. It’s basically a memory jar for the great life moments that make you grateful to be alive. And at the end of the year, go through them all to re-live it.

Thank you emails

As obvious as sending thank you notes might be, sending an email (or even physical card if you have an address!) to someone who has shaped you or inspired you can make you feel so good. Do you have any teachers that have inspired you? Maybe told you that you were a good writer, and now you blog or write books? Or maybe encouraged you to pursue your dream job? There’s probably a lot of people who have impacted you that don’t know the impact they’ve made on you, and now is a great time to let them know.

Stream of consciousness

If you’ve been in a funk lately, one way to change your state of mind is to list every single thing you’re grateful for on paper and don’t stop until you’re feeling warm inside. It’s amazing how our biggest problems can melt away when we realize how many blessings we have in life. Yeah, life isn’t perfect, but it’s not nearly as bad as we make it out to be sometimes.

Gifts

Start a practice of buying thoughtful gifts for your friends and fam as you see them. It’s never fun when you’re frantically running around trying to find the perfect gift last minute. Spontaneous acts of giving are also so fun. You don’t always need an occasion to show your love to someone. Treating someone to a coffee, especially a stranger can be a sincere act of gratitude –– especially if you’re in a drive thru and they can’t thank you.

When’s the last time you showed a little gratitude? Let us know some more fun ideas in the comments!

Manifestation can be as simple as, “I am manifesting a second bag of French-fries” in a to-go order or it can be as deep as manifesting your dream job.

Here are some examples of manifesting:

– My partner had his first experience with manifestation when he manifested a second bag of French-fries in our to go order. When I broke down the process and showed him how he had done every step; he was in shock. He was also munching on fries he would not have to share with me which, I’m sure, was the best support to my point.

– I manifested the next step in my career in December of 2016. Everything I had focused on and desired came to truth. As each part of the interview passed and into the on-boarding process, I saw deeper and deeper how it was truly what I had called into existence.

– A dear colleague and friend of mine, the amazing Kimberley Wenya of the Kimberley Wenya Podcast recently manifested a feature with her desired mentor and a leader in the wellness community, Lauryn Evarts of The Skinny Confidential. (If you haven’t checked out both of these podcasts I would highly recommend it.)

– I heard one of my favorite examples of manifestation while listening to Sahara Rose on her podcast “The Higher Self Podcast.” Sahara Rose manifested the forward to her book, “The Idiot’s Guide to Ayurveda.” Her forward is written by Deepak Chopra and come on, now that is a manifestation. Learn more about her manifestation on her Podcast “The Higher Self Podcast.”

These examples start small and end in massive achievements; bottom line manifestation can change your life. Being in the flow will change your life. So let’s dive in!

Step 1: What to manifest

To bring your desire from a whisper, to a thought, to a full desire, and finally into reality is a process. To start the process you have to decide on something you want. You totally manifest things unconsciously but for this process, acting in the conscious state, we need to identify what you want to manifest.

I’d recommend starting with something smaller to begin the process. This way you allow yourself the opportunity to gain traction, see results, and perfect the process as you move forward into bigger manifestation undertakings.

Being in the flow is easy, it feels good, and things come to you. Release your fears and blocks around having everything you desire. It is possible! Just think about that for a second. What would it look like if you accepted that everything you want in life, you can have? 

Tips & tricks: clarity and staying positive

Now that you have an idea of the thing you want, let’s work on clarity.

Let’s clean up this desire. Take some time to write things down, work things out, and get specific. A big tip for manifesting is always stay in the positive. Create affirmations vs. listing out things you do not want. Here are a few examples:

If you want to eliminate debt instead of saying, “I do not want any more debt or universe (or God) help me to eliminate my debt” work in the positive and say, “I am manifesting opportunities and prosperity that will allow me to eliminate my debt quickly and easily.”

If you want a partnership that doesn’t drag you down, doesn’t ghost you, and doesn’t blow you off, instead of saying, “I want a relationship/date/partner who does not treat me poorly and doesn’t blow me off” work in the positive and say, “I am manifesting a relationship/date/partner who directly communicates their intentions, treats me with respect, and shows their interest in me openly.”

If you want a job that doesn’t micromanage your every move, doesn’t kill your creativity, and doesn’t surround you with negativity instead of saying “I want a job that doesn’t surround me with negativity, force me to follow detailed instructions with no flexibility, and have someone breathing down my neck” work in the positive and say,“I am manifesting a career position where I am offered creative liberties, believed in and supported, and the company culture is positive and growth oriented.”

We work in the positive when manifesting, because like attracts like, and energy goes where attention goes. If you are thinking about how hard it is to get out of debt, you will experience more difficulty and the mountain will become harder to climb. Your energy will start to attract more debt and more lack instead of bringing in prosperity and abundance.

Step 2: Believe it

The big one: believing it. You have to believe that your desire is possible. You have to believe that you deserve your desire. You have to believe in, around, and all about your desire.

If you do not believe in the ability for it to come to you, happen, be true, you are actively confusing the universe in regard to the manifestation process. On one hand, you are calling this thing to you and on the other, you are telling the universe you don’t really want it because you doubt it.

This is like deciding you want to catch a fish, getting in a boat, paddling out to the middle of the lake with all your supplies and never throwing your line in… How would you ever catch a fish?

Help your belief along. Show yourself, in tangible form, that it is achievable.

What would help you accept this is possible?

Do some research and see that it is possible. For instance if you want to get a new job with a 20k raise, look up other examples of people getting 20k+ raises when they transition jobs.

Look up salaries for the position you are interested in to prove to yourself that this position is worth a certain rate.

Talk to people who have accomplished what you are trying to accomplish.

By seeing that it is possible you train your mind to believe that you can also have this thing.

Tips & tricks: Release fears and blocks

You must release your fears around accepting and welcoming your manifestation. You have to believe it’s possible. Try asking a question to help you on the process of working through your blocks and limiting beliefs.

What would it take for me to have an amazing new job?

What would it look like for me to have a supportive, loving, respectful, fun, and considerate partner?

Phrase your questions in, “What would it look like?” or “What would it take?”

This automatically opens up the opportunity for the belief because you avoid closing it down with the limiting belief of is it possible. Instead you refer to it as completely possible and just ask about the path to get there.

The path is an assumed. The path becomes real, and thus the manifestation becomes possible. If there is a way to get there, then there has to be a destination!

Step 3: Feel it

You have now learned that it is possible to have your desire; now you need to feel what it would feel like to have that thing. I say again- feel like you already have it.

Tips & Tricks: How to conjure a feeling

A great practice in feeling is thinking back to a time where you felt in this way, or a similar way before.

Think of a time when you knocked it out of the park, when you were in the flow, when you accomplished a goal and were beaming for days.

Call that experience up to your mind, let that experience fill your body, you want to feel it physically, and take notes on all the ways you feel.

Do you feel empowered? Are you smiling? Did your body language change? Are you feeling strong, more vibrant, ready to dance or sing or jump for joy?

Maybe you are very calm and feel as if you are floating through life?

Maybe you feel satisfied and full, juicy and luscious?

Do you feel intuitive and connected, does your crown feel warm and glowy?

Whatever that feeling of accomplishment is for you, make note of that feeling. You will now call that feeling, conjure that feeling up at your call.

A lot of clients have great results with associating this feeling with a physical call. For instance, pressing the middle of your hand, or rubbing your ear. Calling the feeling in associate with the gesture, creating a Pavlovian connection between the feeling and the gesture/touch. This way you can perform the gesture and the feeling comes naturally.

You then use your example to call the feeling.

Then hold the feeling on it’s own, separate from that experience. Holding onto the sensation instead of the situation.

How do you feel, warm or cool?

Do you relax and soften or is your posture perfect and profound?

Do you hear birds chirping or the quietness of snow falling in the mountains, or maybe you hear waves gently crashing on the shore?

Does your body feel different, is the feeling of accomplishment stored in your body in a specific space? Does your heart get warm, or do your hands start to tingle?

Associate the feeling with your manifestation. I feel crisp, clear, connected. I feel capable of anything. I am on cloud nine. My body is warm and buzzy and I feel satisfied.

This is the feeling of walking out of a meeting where I was given an amazing offer for a new job. Visualize yourself walking out of that meeting and feeling. Call that feeling into your space and spend time with that feeling daily, weekly, monthly–as often as you can. The more often that you bring that into your space the more efficiently you will be able to bring your manifestation into reality.

Step 4: Act

Now is the time to reaffirm to the universe that you believe it, you feel it, and show your commitment to the plan by acting on it. If you are manifesting a new partner, tell some friends who you love and trust that you are looking to meet someone. Be open to a blind date or being set up by a trusted friend. Be more aware of your surroundings when you are out in the world, smile or start conversations at your coffee shop.  

If you are manifesting a job, a manufacturer for your product, or a new mentor, reach out to people, send resumes out, contact a recruiter, take a look at your Linkedin and see if any friends have a good connection. Take action that shows you are committed to this goal and then let go let flow.

Be open to the universe sending you signs of where to make moves. If someone pops up out of nowhere, or a flyer hits your feet while you are walking, or a sponsor perks your ears during your go-to podcast, take note!

Take actions to help your manifestation along.

We have now covered the basic outline for manifesting. One major tip, if you really want to super charge your manifesting I have found that this single shift makes a world of difference. To be honest this tip makes a major shift in life–not just manifesting.

Gratitude

Gratitude is an absolute game changer. The more you practice gratitude, the better life becomes. Specifically for manifesting, if you can add gratitude you will speed up the process. Be grateful for things you do not yet have. Be grateful for your manifestations before they show up. It seems backwards but the more gratitude you express for the things you are manifesting, the faster and more bountifully they show up. Just like feeling them before they have arrived, be grateful for them before they have arrived.

For instance, if you are manifesting a new job, start to detail out all the ways you are grateful for it even before it’s here.

If this new job you are manifesting will pay you more, experience gratitude for the change in your means of living.

Enjoy bills being easier to pay, outings with friends more financially comfortable, and saving becomes an enjoyable experience instead of a pressure.

Feel grateful for the flexibility this new job affords you.

Feel grateful for the amazing, supportive, and engaging new co-workers.

Be grateful for the physical space you get to work in, the natural light, and the inviting vibe the office has.

Experience all the wonderful facets of this new position, feel what it will feel like to have this job and be grateful for all of it.

Spending time in the feeling and in the gratitude will supercharge your manifestation.

A few additional tips & tricks

Relax. Let go & let flow.

Allowing the universe to work its magic is key. You are manifesting but make sure that you leave space, openness, and willingness to follow the universe’s guidance.

For example: You are manifesting your dream job and you think it might be at a different company but you end up getting a promotion and a new position at your current company. Staying open helps you to get the most of your manifestation because the universe is always more all-seeing than we are.  

Surrender

Let go of the how this is going to happen, the when this is going to happen. Release any understanding of time when it comes to manifestation. We tend to limit ourselves because we fear it can’t happen that fast, or that easily. Focus on what you want now, not how you are going to get it. Let the universe’s supreme knowledge handle the how.

Try journaling to enhance your believing it, feeling it, and visualizing it. Free write as if it has already happened, link in your gratitude. Write a passage as if you just finished your first day at your new job, or just went on your first amazing date with a new person, or just spoke with your adoption case worker and everything is lining up. Write out that positivity, that feeling, that enjoyment, and of course that gratitude.

Be open to receiving!

Acknowledge things as they show up and be grateful. When you start to get more interviews, or networking connections are falling into your lap, tell the universe that you see the signs and you are so grateful.

Let go of negativity

If you hold negativity or limiting beliefs around your manifestation, start to clear that away on a regular basis. A great option for clearing that stickiness is to sage/smudge yourself or use Palo Santo. Allow the smoke of either (or both) to billow around you, open a window, and think to yourself “I release all that does not serve me.”

Enjoy your travels down the path of manifestation and exist in gratitude as your dreams become reality.