You are required to slow the pace and quiet your mind in order to hear and feel the message. This is why people in Blue Zones live longer. They live a slow life filled with spirituality, family, community and hospitality. They have found the secret to purposeful living which, consequently, offers a longer lifespan than the rest of the world. Staying plugged into The Divine and following the promptings reap more benefits than you know. 

Everyone has the capacity for an aligned life. Humans were created to always be connected. We all forgot how. There are a few concrete means to tap into your inner voice:

1. Slow the pace and practice mindfulness

Adopting a spiritual practice, especially at the start of each day, will set you up for connecting with your higher power. This can include meditation, journaling, prayer, affirmations, and connecting with nature. This does not have to be forced or formal. Merely acknowledge Spirit and ask to stay plugged in all day, for direction, etc.

Maintain a slower pace throughout the day. Don’t jump into conversations. Ask yourself what your body needs to fuel it this day. Make decisions based upon how your body feels when you ask it questions. When you have physical sensations, question them.

2. Engage in extreme self-care. 

Extreme self-care means more than an hour at the gym or getting your nails done. Yes, these are important. A massage is always welcome. You need to know what you need in all circumstances which comes from #1. This is the action you take. It means engaging with people who bring value to your life. Do you need a spiritual guide or therapist? Take time to walk the beach alone. Read a good book. Engage in uplifting conversations with friends, etc. 

3. Make your yes mean yes and your no mean no.

Declining invitations, especially from family, can ruffle feathers. Only do what is absolutely unavoidable in cases where you are in the company of toxic or unhealthy people. Try new groups or meetups that have activities that fill you up. Say yes to that invitation to dinner. Say no to a weekend with friends who constantly gossip. 

Doing the above few things will evoke a sense of self-trust. Your body and your emotions will rely on you to take care of them. In turn, you will begin to trust your body and the physical sensations you will receive in order to make intuition-based decisions for your life.  You will hear the whispers of God within and act upon it.

In today’s climate, people often forget to slow down. They put everyone else before themselves. Jumping off the perpetual treadmill will offer a peaceful, longer, healthier life. Slowing down, quieting our minds, and really listening will unlock your intuitive powers. Love yourself enough to tap in. God is waiting to tell you how amazing you are. Spirit is ready to whisper directions to a life you cannot imagine. This is the life for which you were created where you live your dreams and share them with the people you love. Living intuitively is crazy like that.

What is a screen time goal?

I’m defining a “screen time” goal as a goal that you set around reducing your time spent on your computer or phone. I’m not defining this as time on your computer or phone for work, but more for when you’re using it for mindless scrolling or when you’re on it more than you’d like. Creating phone and technology boundaries can help you to make the time you’re on screens more intentional.

Why should you set a screen time goal?

Having a concrete goal around something can help you to make what you desire to happen a reality. When you have a set plan, it’s so much easier to achieve your desired outcome. If screen time is causing you to be distracted at work or in your life and it’s keeping you from spending your time doing what you love, it might be a good time to set some productive goals around limiting your screen time!

10 Screen Time Goals To Set

1. Take One Day A Week Off Socials

Or maybe start with your most-used social app, like TikTok or Instagram. Call it “Screen Free Saturday” or “Sacred Sunday.”

2. Improve your screen time each week

Do you have it set up on your phone to give you screen time alerts?

Make a goal to continue to decrease your screen time each week. It doesn’t have to be by a lot, but imagine how much more focused you would be at the end of the year if you decreased your screen time every single week.

3. Challenge yourself to only 3 hours of phone time per day

Or whatever feels like a good amount for you to feel your best.

I know that for me, social media is part of my job, so doing much less than three isn’t realistic. Find the magic number that feels healthy to you, and make it a goal to stick to that every day! You could even make a habit tracker to keep you accountable.

4. Put away your phone for social events

Make it a goal that for social situations, you keep your phone in your purse or tucked away somewhere. You can snap a pic or two and then put it away for the rest of the time. It’s never enjoyable to be around a group of people who are all just on their phones the whole time!

If you throw a party, you could even have a little basket for everyone to put their phones, so that everyone is social and distraction-free for the night!

5. Exchange your screen time for something better

Feel like you have no time to learn a new skill you’ve been wanting to try, like learning an instrument or a language? Or maybe you’ve been trying to read more.

Trade out the time you usually tend to scroll for that new activity! It’s always a little uncomfortable when you trade an old habit for a new one. It helps to remind yourself about how being on your phone too much makes you feel – and opt for a different approach that will be better for your mental health. Take note on how you feel after you exchange your screen time for something else!

6. Go without your phone for the last hour before bed

You can smash out two goals in one with this one, because if you lessen your screen time before bed, you’re likely to get a more restful night of sleep. Set your phone in the charger, make sure your morning alarm is on, and don’t look back!

I always recommend reading before bed, especially fiction books. It always leaves me feeling sleepy, without the blue light from your screen that hinders your sleep.

See this list of 21 evening wind-down routine ideas that don’t include screen time!

7. Keep your bedroom as a phone-free zone

In fact, I love to have my bedroom screen-free altogether. I broke this rule for a while, but I noticed that I’m better off keeping my bedroom free from the television and phone. I have better sleep because my brain associates my bedroom with sleep!

8. Go off the grid

Make a goal to go on a camping trip or some kind of phone-free adventure where you’ll forget to check in or maybe don’t even have cell service, so you can just enjoy your time with your people, distraction-free.

We could all use vacations where we really decompress and feel like we’re MIA from the world.

9. Go on a social media hiatus

Can’t go completely off the grid? Do a social media break instead. One of our contributors talked about their experience with a month-long social media hiatus here.

10. Watch one episode a night, instead of multiple

If you want to start watching less television, start reducing the hours you watch instead of eliminating it altogether. I love watching TV and don’t want to give it up, but I also love having goals around exchanging that time with doing more activities that I want to prioritize, like reading.

“First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not.” – Octavia Butler

That quote is only one of the many such words of wisdom that remind us that habits are the foundation to success. A daily routine will reduce the clutter in your mind so you can be more creative in your work. Yet still, that’s easier said than done.

I don’t know about you, but habits have been a constant struggle in my life. I read the Power of Habit and Atomic Habits and 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I implemented their methods but nothing seemed to stick. None of them aligned well with how my brain actually works. 

Then one day I heard about the Clean With Me podcast. I thought it was great. It took the decision-making out of a not-so-desirable necessity. Rather than feeling overwhelmed by what to clean or where to clean, I just hit play and she guides me through the process.

Then I thought–what if this was more expansive? What if I just had to hit play in the morning and the rest of my day was decided for me? 

This thought led me to devise The Playlist Method.

How The Playlist Method Works To Guide A Productive Week

It’s a simple concept. 

Create a playlist that’s filled with music you absolutely adore. Then intersperse blocks of  “good habit” activities you want to add to your day. 

Some examples:

• Daily affirmations
• Meditation
• Exercise
• Stretching
• Deep Work
• Cues to take a break

Once you put in that initial work, all you have to do is hit play and let the playlist guide you through your day. This eliminates the guesswork, the paralyzing effects of indecisiveness, and reduces decision fatigue.

The easiest way to understand how it works is to look at an example.

My Monday Playlist

Let me walk you through my Monday playlist. 

I use Spotify but don’t let the platform you use limit the possibilities of this method. Get creative with how you use songs and sounds to cue different activities.

Morning Routine 

I have headphones set right next to my phone so as soon as I turn off my alarm, I put them on and start my Monday Playlist. 

Right from the start, I’m greeted with one of my favorite songs (“Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO). It’s so happy and upbeat that it alone works wonders to encourage a positive mood to start the day.

I use this first song to use the bathroom and brush my teeth and give my dogs a chance to wake up. As the playlist continues, I put on my shoes and leash my dogs and head out the door for our morning walk.

This walk takes about 25 minutes, so I include enough songs to cover its entire length plus buffer time.

At the end, I have a cue song (“Friday Morning” by Khruangbin). I use this in the same spot every day to let myself know that the next set of activities is coming.

This song leads me into my morning affirmation. I use a bonus episode of the podcast Better With Paul where the host says an affirmation for positive thinking.

This flows into 10 minutes of morning meditation. I found an artist called Sound Dreamer who has a wide selection of sounds at set lengths of time. You could use these for any number of activities.

Now that I’m relaxed and clear-headed, it’s time for some energy. I use a podcast called Tiny Workouts where the host guides you through short, simple workouts. Monday is arms and shoulders for me.

After this, I have another block of my favorite music during which I shower and dress, feed my dogs and myself, and then walk to the local cafe. 

Total time: 1 hr 40 m 03 s. The playlist also functions to keep me on time in the morning.

The Work Day

I use 4 x 90 minute blocks of Brown Noise as working sessions for a total of 6 dedicated hours of focused work. 

Between each block I have 3 – 5 songs that cue me to take a break. During this time, I will get up, stretch, walk around, grab a coffee refill, or eat a snack. I don’t eat again until after work so snack breaks are essential.

After Work

After the last 90-minute session, there’s an extended block of music which guides me home and into whatever my plans are for the latter part of the day.

At this point, I often stop the playlist while I socialize with friends and family, watch TV/movies, read, run, walk and listen to an audiobook, etc.

Bedtime Routine

The crucial second decision of the day is jumping back into the playlist to set my bedtime. 

When I’ve concluded my evening plans, I check the time to see how long I have until I need to start my bedtime routine.  I divide this by 4, which creates an approximate number of songs I’ll need to cover the time. For example:

60 minutes / 4 = 15 songs

4 minutes per song is the closest approximation where the math is still easy.

I count back that many songs from the end of the playlist and hit play.

I use another Khruangbin song (“White Gloves”) to cue the start of my bedtime routine, which includes skin care and teeth care and other prep.

Then I have another Tiny Workout–this one for stretching–another Better With Paul affirmation–this one for self-love–and a final 10 minute block of soothing sounds for evening meditation.

At this point the playlist concludes, which is a cue to put my phone away for the day. I set it and my headphones to charge and spend the rest of the night reading until it’s time to go to sleep.

Other Days Of The Week

I went further and created a different playlist for each day of the week. You can see each of them here:

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

Each playlist has a different feel to reflect how I think that day feels. It’s fun to get cutsie with selections like “Stuck in the Middle with You” on Wednesday or “Friday I’m in Love” on Friday.

Even though creating all these playlists is more work upfront, it has a few advantages:

• New music each day so it doesn’t get stale
• Variable workouts to hit each part of the body
• Different routine structures depending on the goal of the day

Customize It For Yourself

Obviously, each of these is custom-tailored for my day and my goals. The key to the success of this method is putting in the initial work to make the playlist work for you.

• Choose music that you absolutely adore so you’ll be excited to hit play.
• Base the length of each block around your schedule.
• Include the activities that you want to do based on your goals.
• Pick podcast episodes with hosts who you enjoy listening to. 

The reason I chose Better With Paul and Tiny Workouts is because I love the hosts. The sound of their voices, the background music, and their encouraging nature. They feel like good friends and make me excited to incorporate those activities into my life.

Set it up so that you want to use the method, rather than feeling like you have to follow it. This mental distinction is essential for the method to work.

How To Simplify The Playlist Method

This whole full-day thing may feel a bit overwhelming. You don’t need to plan out your entire day to make use of this method. 

Instead, you can just make a morning routine playlist that guides you from bed to the office. Or just an evening playlist that ensures you get to bed on time.

The concept is flexible. Fit it to your needs and your goals.

Looking To The Future

It’s important to make adjustments regularly. 

• Change the songs to keep it fresh. 
• Change what activities you do as your goals change. 
• Change the order based on what’s working or not working.

Anytime you start to feel the monotony of the routine, switch it up instead of abandoning it altogether.

This method has been transformative for me. I’m feeling mentally and physically healthier, and I’m getting more done than I ever have before. I hope that you can find similar benefits from this method.

I knew money management, which is an entirely different conversation than what we are having today.

Today I am sharing with you the relationship you are in with money, my unique perspective on the energetics of money, and where you can start to create a more empowered relationship with your finances. Today, I am teaching you how to have a sacred date with money.

Like anything in life, money is something you are in a relationship with. You show up in relationship with money based on your beliefs around money, people with money, and yourself. You attract, keep, grow and spend money based on those beliefs. 

Don’t like your current relationship with money? Here’s how to shift it.

Many people have been passed down a negative relationship with money.

Common beliefs I see in my clients are “rich people are greedy,” “my family has never been rich, so I never will be,” “money doesn’t stick around,” and “how much money you make equates to how hard you work” or worse… “how much money you have defines your worth.”

These are false, and you can change any beliefs that no longer serve you. This is the first step to healing your relationship with money, laying the foundation for your sacred money date.  

First, you must know how you currently show up in your relationship with money.

So get out your journal and write out what you believe to be true about money and how it shows up in your relationship with yourself. Once you get clear on your current beliefs, I invite you to journal on your desired beliefs.

What do you want to believe to be true about money and the relationship you have with it?

For example, maybe you believe money is never available for someone like you. The desired belief to replace that could be “money craves to be in my bank account.”

Once you’ve gotten clear on your desired relationship with money, it’s time to move to the next step, Breaking Up with Scarcity.

Break up with scarcity

Before you can have a sacred date and deepen your relationship with money, you must first break up with scarcity.

Scarcity is all those limiting beliefs around money that keep your finances small. To manifest your most prosperous life, you must be willing to let those old stories go. So once again, get out your journal.

This time, I want you to write a letter to Scarcity, letting scarcity know that it’s time to move on because you are no longer available for the toxic relationship you have with each other. You are ready for a more loving, kind, and empowering relationship, and that will be with money.

Make money your lover

Now that you’ve gotten clear on your current relationship with money, your desired relationship with money, and now that you’ve broken up with scarcity, it’s now time to make money, your lover.

This is where your sacred money date really begins. So first, since we are working with the energy of money, I want you to feel irresistible to money.

So start with the environment. One of the biggest signs of scarcity reflects in your physical space. Is it messy? Are you hoarding junk? First, take care of that. It’s important you feel clear.

Second, I invite you to dress like you’re going on a first date.

Or at least dress up as the wealthy human you were born to be. Another option is to have money nearby. I have used a hundred-dollar bill during this ritual, but it can also be your debit, credit card, or even a jar of change. Now that the vibes are set, it’s time to establish a new relationship with money.

Get your journal out, and I want you to personify money and write a letter to money as if money was your lover. Maybe it’s a letter of forgiveness, maybe it’s an apology, or perhaps it’s a hot steamy love note. There are no rules except that you feel good, lighter, and excited about what money has to say back.

Because now it’s time for money to write a letter back to you. This is your opportunity to affirm all of the new beliefs you have around money. Watch how much more safe, open, trusting, and abundant you feel towards money as you write this letter.

You can also use this time to clarify your money goals and how much you would love to receive!

You might be asking, why am I doing this exactly? And that’s what I’m going to share with you next.

Why should I have these sacred dates with money?

These money dates have entirely changed my and my client’s financial situation for the better.

When I started healing my relationship with money, I felt like I couldn’t trust money, that people with money are bad, so I could never have too much. Money is limited, so I have to be cautious of my spending.

All at the same time, I attached my worth to money and felt like money validated me. So I never received more than $2k in my business.

Since having these sacred money dates, I have created a multiple 6-figure business where I make 5-figures a month. I have a thriving savings account, growing investments account, paid off all of my debt, bought my dream car, and I’m getting ready to buy my dream house.

Not only that, but I actually feel abundant. I understand now that there is no lack of money, money is constantly flowing into my life, and craves to be in my bank account, and that my prosperity is truly service to this world.

Money, like everything in this world, is energy. When the energy is icky – filled with scarcity, mistrust, unworthiness, etc., the availability for an overflow of money is slim to none. Having these sacred money dates clears the energy to vibrate on a frequency where money cannot resist you.

Self-compassion is the act of extending warmth, love, and understanding to yourself during a time of adversity or challenge. 

It’s realizing our shared humanity, being mindful of what we’re thinking, and actively choosing to be kind and tender to ourselves.

When we practice the art of self-compassion, we also fuel the compassion we feel for others. Oftentimes, when we are overly judgmental and critical of someone else, it’s because we’re also extending criticism and shame onto ourselves. It always comes back to our own self-nurturing.

Dr. Kristin Neff, who is a leading researcher in the realm of self-compassion, categorizes it into three core elements: Self-Kindness, Presence, and Common Humanity.

So, how do we practice this in our daily life? And how do we truly embody it long enough to see it change our perspective?

Practice self-kindness

Being genuinely more kind to ourselves can be a challenge. We are wired to see the flaws, especially by society and some of its standards. Everywhere we turn, we see how we “should” look, “should” live, “should” be. With these heightened feelings of expectation from our external world, it is no surprise that we speak so harshly to ourselves in a world that makes us feel not enough. 

Self-kindness starts with the understanding that we are absolutely worthy of the support, acceptance, and warmth that we extend to others. Embracing a path toward self-kindness means to actively choose tenderness toward ourselves during times of challenge.

Beginning to notice your personal dialogue and your automatic responses to life situations, both internally and externally, can create massive shifts toward more self-compassion. 

Starting to dive deeper into your own inner world will strengthen this practice. Having a journaling routine that allows expansion can be helpful in order to have internal discoveries.

Or even using a card deck as a reminder can be enough to shift your perspective toward a more loving relationship with yourself. This card deck specifically prompts thinking points around the topic of self-compassion. 

When you notice yourself speaking harshly, notice the thought, release it, and send yourself love. Strengthening self-compassion is life-long work. It’s never meant to be about perfection.

Honor how you feel & what you need

Researcher and Author, Brene Brown talks a lot about the power of naming our emotions accurately in her book, Atlas of the Heart. Many of us are unaware of what we are specifically feeling. Sadness, grief, frustration, jealousy, envy, etc. Even through these emotions, we can still make space for extending compassion to ourselves.

When we accurately name our emotions by asking “what am I feeling”, we can move through them in ways that feel best for us. After we acknowledge those emotions and release any need to resist them, the next question to ask is: “what do I need?”

Asking the question: “what do I need?” creates a pivotal moment of presence for yourself.

Self-compassion also means honoring your own needs. When was the last time you asked yourself what you truly needed in any given moment? Maybe you need to eat a nourishing meal or drink some water. Maybe you need to listen to music that will leave you feeling upbeat or allow you to release a cry. Maybe you need to go for a walk and go offline. 

When situations arise and emotions are high, stop to ask yourself what it is that you’re actually feeling. Gift yourself space to feel your emotions and then ask yourself what you need.

Oftentimes, we work so fast, moving from one task to another, that we rarely ask ourselves this crucial question.

Share with someone you trust

The people we spend time with are a reflection of how we see ourselves. It’s important to surround yourself with people who uplift, guide, and support you. 

Along with naming our emotions and honoring what we need, we also must have people to connect and share with. When we bring awareness to our inner world by expressing it outward, this creates a huge shift in understanding ourselves & the world around us.

Whether it be a therapist, friend, coach, family member — there are always people who will embrace you with open arms. Sharing our stories and embracing that vulnerability will always feel rewarding when we share with the right people. It will allow you to feel seen, heard and understood.

This practice emphasizes the idea that we are all of common humanity, feeling similar emotions as those who surround us. This creates a powerful sense of community and fuels the understanding that we are truly never alone and we are all part of a similar human experience.

As you walk through your days or a challenging season, remember that you deserve love and kindness — no matter what. You are worthy of understanding and that the power of self-compassion can fundamentally change your life and expand you to new horizons. Keep walking that path. You deserve it.

We grow up and tell our parents that we want to be astronauts or teachers, and when everything is a possibility, we try things on and figure out what resonates.

But as we get older, it all becomes so much more real. We recognize that we have to choose what to prioritize and focus on – and it can be hard to figure out what that should look like.

I’ve found that goals are the most rewarding when they’re in line with our values – and with who we want to become.

Why pursue goals or dreams when it has nothing to do with who you want to become in life?

I always think about the typical stereotype of the “family man” who works hard to provide for his family but is never home to actually BE with his family.

But equally important to figure out what we care about is recognizing that there’s a lot that we don’t care as much about that make for easier trades.

If I care about my career growth and that’s the legacy I want to create for myself, maybe I don’t care as much in this season about settling down with a family. Or maybe I care more about adventure than security or stability in this season of life.

It’s OK to want a different storyline for your life.

You’re the star of your movie, and you get to write the screenplay. Also, you’re allowed to have sequels to your movie where you evolve and your values change along with you.

1. Find your value words

What’s important to you? What motivates you?

Or, if that’s a complicated place to begin… maybe think about, what doesn’t? It’s pretty easy for me to look at a list of values and see what I don’t find important before figuring out what I do.

Choose 2-3 core values that you really resonate with – and that you feel you’d want to guide your decisions.

List of Values

Struggling to nail down your values?

You might look at this list and think to yourself, “I care about most of these things.”

And that’s true for all of us, but there are probably a few values that stick out as something you’re always talking about, noticing, or even getting upset about.

Notice how some people care about being on time, while others don’t care?

If you find yourself saying, “I wish people would just be more honest” or, “I wish I had the courage to wear that crop top.” Pay attention to what comes up often, and it’ll probably give you an indication of what values you hold.

2. Take a personality test

If you’re struggling to figure out your values, consider taking a personality test to help you figure that out.

I love the Enneagram, because it’s a good way to see what motivates you – and what traits dominate your personality.

You can take a test at Truity.*

3. Write down your favorite character’s attributes

Figure out what movie or TV show characters you love or want to be like, and see if you can identify common traits that make you like them.

Do you resonate with Drew Barrymore’s characters? Or maybe you resonate with Samantha Jones on Sex and The City? Maybe you’re a Hermoine girl?

Drew Barrymore might tell you that you value authenticity, quirkiness, and humor.

Contrastly, Samantha Jones might show that you value freedom, independence, and empowerment.

Hermoine might show you that you care about intelligence, preparedness, and ambition.

Identify those traits for yourself that you personally resonate with.

4. Do a little audit

When you look at the different areas of your life, do you see these 2-3 values reflected?

For me, I’ve been recognizing that one of my values is simplicity. And yet, I try to overcomplicate a lot of what I do. So, it’s such a game-changer for me to be able to say – I value simplicity, so let me come back to that and simplify things.

Here are some areas of your life to look at:

• Relationships: love life, friendships, family, coworkers
• Career
• Physical health
• Mental health
• Environment
• Finances
• Spiritual life

5. Come back to your values when making decisions

A question for me to ask myself when making decisions because I’ve defined simplicity as a value is “How can I simplify this?”

Or, if I chose the value of abundance, I could ask myself, “If I was feeling abundant right now, what would I choose?”

For playfulness, “how can I make this experience feel more playful?”

6. Reflect on where these values stem from

Once you’ve established your values, I recommend actually reflecting on why you hold these values. For one, it will make it stronger for you to live by them when you’re clear on the reason behind why it’s important to you.

But even more importantly, a lot of our beliefs come from childhood and from what other people have shown us is important. Whether that’s been demonstrated to us by parents who were always valuing “success” and money or felt by us through always being praised for our talents or unique gifts.

Your worthiness is not tied to your values. And it’s important that you recognized that you do not have to do or be a certain way in order to be loved.

The same values can feel dramatically different:

Let’s say as an example, your mother was always worried about looks and it was an important value to her. She constantly made comments about your appearance, and now you find yourself consumed with how you look. This might not be a value that serves you.

This same value of beauty might be a positive value for someone else, who enjoys making everything in their life feel beautiful. It brings them a sense of calm and pleasure to feel and be surrounded by beauty – whether that’s nature, people, or things.

Values should be something that makes you feel good. It should be aligned with the person you want to embody, not the person other people want you to be.

Reflect on that. Talk to a therapist or professional to work through some of this, if needed. It’s something most of us have to do a lot of work around, because we have a lot of years where people had so many opinions about our life, but we’re the ones living it out and we deserve to live authentically.

*We’re an affiliate of Truity – so if you decide to purchase a guide, we’ll receive a small commission. We only recommend brands we love!

Have you wanted to practice living in the present moment? Do you enjoy getting lost in a challenging activity? Do you want to lose yourself happily? If so, choosing a flow activity is exactly what you need to set yourself up for success.

What is a Flow State?

Flow can be described as a joyful state in which people are so absorbed in an activity that they lose track of time and their external environment. Imagine tiptoeing into another world where walls disappear, self-consciousness dwindles, time passes, voices fade, and yesterday’s challenges melt away.

In an idyllic flow state, you’ll find peaceful solitude, outdoorsy scents fresher than a Yankee Candle, and productivity that makes you feel proud. 

In case you weren’t aware, the term flow has been around for decades dating back to 1975 due to Mihály Csíkszentmihályi’s work; he was one of the original positive psychologists, although that field didn’t exist back then.

It’s important to note that flow activities are not misconstrued with leisure activities. Don’t get me wrong – watching T.V. can be relaxing, but it’s not productive; therefore, it does not induce flow. We are not zombie-like creatures during flow activities. Instead, we are productive energizer bunnies, tackling adventures from start to finish.

What conditions need to be met to enter a flow state?

According to Csíkszentmihályi, there are many considerations that must be met in order to experience flow. All of the elements are typically present during a prime flow state:

1. The activity adds to one’s life and is challenging which makes it rewarding
2. There is a healthy balance between easiness and challenge
3. The activity is part of a broader goal or mission and is repeated over time
4. People experience a lack of awareness as they drift into another world 
5. There is strong concentration and focus involved
6. The activity includes a strong learning curve
7. There is immediate feedback involved
8. The activity is action-oriented and requires undivided attention
9. People focus intently on the activity and lose track of any sense of time

For most of my life, I found it difficult to focus on activities that required my undivided attention. I was scatter-brained and got lost in frenzied errands and endless to-do lists.

However, during quarantine in the early months of 2020, I was forced to slow down and initiate activities in the comfort of my own home. Months later, I found myself initiating endless activities that made me lose track of time. I decided to take it one step further and become more intentional with initiating activities that put me into a state of flow.  

I started an Annual NY Best Times Seller Book-a-thon. I practiced presence in the form of meditation. I created homemade aromatic bath bombs and gifted them. I planted an overflowing garden filled with herbs and veggies. I organized my closets and created a Hygge-themed office. And the list goes on…

Most importantly, I was proud of who I was and who I was becoming.

After a heavy pour of coffee, I made a vow to initiate more flow activities. While there are always tasks that linger, I’ve made it a habit to incorporate at least one flow activity per week, even if it’s just for 15 minutes. Take this from me – you can learn new skills at any age if you’re committed. The key ingredients are patience, practice, and inspiration. 

Droves of people are interested in seeking their own idyllic moments, but aren’t sure where to start. In addition, finding the perfect activity can be time-consuming. Luckily, I’ve made a list of activities that lend themselves to a state of flow easily so you can hit the ground running.

We’re delighted to share with you a list of escapades that will make even your mindfulness fanatics jealous. While there are thousands of peaceful getaways to get giddy over, we hand-selected options that put you into an instant meditative state which are also easy to complete.

Whether you want to try out photography, rock climbing, blogging, or painting, we have you covered.

Bring on the peace. Bring on the presence. Bring on the memories. 

Here are 10 activities that will put you into an instant sense of flow

1. Try a challenging yoga stance.

Create your own wellness experience while you focus on your chakras in complete solitude. It’s time to channel your inner yogi and perform a beautifully designed sequence of sitting and standing postures. As your breath flows in and out, your mental state will transform into a sense of calm you didn’t even realize was missing.

Whether it’s hot yoga, vinyasa yoga, or ashanta yoga, improve your flexibility as you improve your mental state.

2. Go for a long swim.

Whether you’re a novice or Olympic athlete, grab your goggles and go for a dip in a glistening pool, winding river, or nearby crystal blue lake. Imagine focusing on your strokes and breathing in and out from side to side while the external world fades away.

Are you ready to be at the forefront of peace? Grab your sunscreen, nostalgic tunes, and carefully curated picnic as you seek a moment of tranquility.

3. Take a bike ride to a new adventure.

Where have you been wanting to explore? How does a local farmer’s market filled with sweets and eats and luscious greens sound? Or, frequenting your favorite coffee shop? Maybe a nearby park filled with wildlife sounds more deal.

Whatever it may be, challenge yourself to travel by bike to make the occasion even sweeter.

Picture it in your mind…an adventure filled with challenging yet satisfying pedaling, moody clouds, inspirational podcasts, and a long winding road. Remember, it’ll just be you and the road.

4. Beautify your backyard.

Experience first-hand what it means to curate a farm-to-table experience.

Have you been dreaming about eating a salad from your backyard? Do you want to make a homemade mojito filled with emerald-green mint leaves from your backyard?

Try it for yourself – combining a bag of soil with seeds is one of the most meaningful activities. Your heart will flutter as you watch your seeds flourish into blooming plants, vegetables, and fruits. 

5. Write a poem or memoir.

Few things are more healing than putting pen to paper and allowing your thoughts to soar. What have you been feeling? What have you not put into words, yet? What have you always wanted to share with your beloveds?

Whatever it is, get lost in your own thoughts as you spill your heart out. Grab your pen and get into the zone. Your family and future followers will thank you!

6. Go on an adventure.

Do you want to visit all the National parks in your area? Do you want to view the top parks of your city? No matter the level, conquer a new trail filled with whispering, luscious green trees.

Plan for an unforgettable adventure filled with nature’s finest leaves, rocks, and solitude. All you pretend you’re a tourist and discover your local leading destination for outdoorsy activities. 

7. Show your creative side.

Decide for yourself what the buzz is all about and visit Michael’s Craft Store. Bolster your creative spirit as you tiptoe through quirky colors and activities, glitter in hand.

Whether it’s painting, drawing, or scrapbooking, get lost in an array of imaginative crafts. Initiating a creative project will almost automatically allow you to lose track of time. 

8. Get lost in a book adventure. 

While reading books is guaranteed to enter a state of flow, take it one step further by considering it a quest.

Suggested ideas include reading an entire series, cover to cover. Or, choosing 10 books from Goodread’s Top 100 Books of All Time.

You’ll enjoy transforming an ordinarily mundane hobby into an extravaganza. Grab your tea, head to your favorite local bookstore or library, and reacquaint yourself with the joys of solitude.

9. Cook up or bake a masterpiece.  

Watch an episode of the British Baking Show and then head straight to the kitchen. Cooking and baking are productive ways of getting lost in the moment. Pour a glass of red wine, turn on some class Dean Martin tunes, and whip up an aromatic adventure that soothe your taste buds. Those scones aren’t baking themselves!

10. Organize your belongings. 

Learn how the viral series Tidying Up with Marie Kondo inspired the entire world by highlighting meaningful items and discarding clutter. Head to your local Homegoods or Container store, grab a few systematizing containers, and transform your ordinary closet into the extraordinary.

Don’t you want to spark joy in every room of your home? You’ll thank us later.

The most important reminder of all

Once you’ve selected an activity that will cultivate more flow, you’re done right? Wrong! Now comes the hard part – actually carving out time to partake in the activity.

Despite the popularity and benefits of flow, many people still have difficulty incorporating them into our lives. Next time, you’re debating watching the next movie marathon or sparing a few minutes to get in the zone, remember this…

The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times… the best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Next steps

And there you have it! We hope you enjoy these transformational flow activities. We would love to know in the comments which one you’ve decided to pursue next and/or if you have suggestions on flow experiences that we missed!

Why is it so hard to make it happen?

It’s self-sabotaging. We do it when we think we’re not worthy of good things, when fear, insecurity, or a lack of confidence tell us to expect little from and for ourselves. 

Self-sabotagers may choose many different paths – both overtly negative and toxically positive – but the bottom line is, they hurt themselves in the long term because of the choices they make in the short term. 

So, what does self-sabotaging look like? 

When many of us think about self-sabotage, we think about it in terms of self-restraint. We feel like we’re self-sabotaging when we can’t say no to a slice of cake. Self-sabotage can also look like saying yes, though. 

For example, demanding perfection and holding yourself to an unreasonable standard of behavior can be self-sabotaging. You won’t be able to achieve it – no one’s perfect at all times – and then when you don’t meet your unreasonable goals, you either feel like a failure because you didn’t make it, or you start feeling like nothing matters and like it’s not worth it to even try because you couldn’t be perfect. 

Other self-sabotaging behaviors can include: 

• Staying in a job because you’re afraid of change or that you won’t measure up in a new position
• Procrastinating because you’re not confident that you can complete a project to your standards
• Staying in a relationship because you are afraid to be alone
• Taking on too much because you want to make others happy 
• Neglecting self-care because you’re focused on caring for others 

Exhaustion can contribute to self-sabotage, but interestingly, people are often likely to self-sabotage at the peak of their circadian rhythm when they’re considered to be most alert and self-aware. This pattern indicates that self-sabotage can be intentional and derived from conscious thought rather than unconscious action alone. 

How to Mindfully Shift from Self-Sabotage

The first step toward stopping self-sabotage is identifying triggers – both physiological and mental. 

Listen to your body

Let’s say that you’re trying to change your eating habits. When you go without food, you may notice your blood sugar starting to drop and your emotions starting to feel more frayed. What happens then if you have a negative encounter with your partner, child or coworker? 

You might say something you didn’t intend to say, get upset, and then turn to food to help you soothe your emotions.

Even though you had the best of intentions, a lack of attention to your physiological well-being made it easy for self-sabotage to strike and for you to fall back into the behavior you wanted to change. 

Refocus your energy

Self-sabotage can also happen in relationships, where you fall into specific patterns with a specific person. If you’re driven by a fear of rejection, for example, you may say yes to a partner, a parent, or a manager who pushes you to do things you don’t want. This ends with emotional distress for you, which isn’t fair. 

Instead, stop putting all your energy toward others, so that you have nothing left for yourself. If that means a negative impact on a relationship, you may want to consider whether the relationship itself was a self-sabotaging mechanism, settling for someone who didn’t truly value you, or allowing a family member to call their emotional abuse and manipulation love. 

Reframe your self-talk

Your inner monologue can be your biggest cheerleader or your worst enemy. It’s up to you to shape it in a way that 

I tell my clients to use the Yin/Yang approach – each time you notice a negative thought, STOP (I use a loud clapping of my hands as a reminder) and imagine two positive thoughts.

Looking for moments of joy can help you create an emotional reserve that you need when you’re struggling with the potential for self-betrayal. If you go for a walk, for example, take a moment to be fully present – to capture the beauty around you and how strong your body felt. Then, next time you’re considering cutting out that part of your self-care routine, you have a moment of beauty and wellness to reflect upon and to motivate you. 

Get rid of that all-or-nothing attitude

No matter how lost you feel, you have the power to initiate change. 

You don’t have to work past all the issues in a toxic relationship today. You also don’t have to settle. 

If you’re still reeling from a bad breakup and you feel like sobbing every time you go to bed alone, that doesn’t mean you have to go back to that person or that you don’t deserve something better.

Just because you spent the day curled up in front of the TV or with a book instead of doing household chores, that doesn’t mean you have to spend the rest of your life there. And that also doesn’t mean it was necessarily a bad thing to give yourself some unfocused time to unwind and relax. 

Above all, to stop self-sabotage, give yourself grace 

When someone in your life makes a mistake or a misstep, you don’t write them off. Instead, you dust them off and help them keep moving toward the person they want to be.

Do the same for yourself, realizing that you have a bright and fulfilling future ahead of you, one that becomes better and better as you make small, incremental steps toward becoming the person you want to be, loving and healing yourself.

The Enneagram is such an amazing resource for better understanding yourself and the people around you. It’s a personality test with 9 different types – and the system is actually kind of complex, so there’s a LOT you can dig into after finding out your type.

The reason it’s my favorite system is that it’s really good at digging into the root of our behaviors and the motivation behind why we do what we do.

Before diving into this guide, you’re going to want to take the Enneagram Test.

Some Enneagram coaches will recommend you don’t take a test at all, but I do think it’s a good starting point – even if you don’t always get the most accurate results.

You can take a test at Truity (with a paid in-depth assessment)* or take a free test at Eclectic Energies.

Use this guide to learn more about your personality type after taking the Enneagram test

1. Start with the Enneagram Institute summaries

After you receive your results, it’s important to then look through the different descriptions of each type to assess whether or not it feels accurate.

I like to do this on the Enneagram Institute website. I think it has the most robust descriptions of the types.

It’s very common to type incorrectly at first, so look through the different types and see what actually resonates with you.

This is a great starter resource to learn about your type in-depth, for free.

2. Read The Road Back To You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile

A classic Enneagram starter book is The Road Back To You: An Enneagram Journey To Self-Discovery.

This book is very beginner-friendly and breaks down the types in a really easy-to-consume way. Some of the Enneagram books can bit heady and I like how this one keeps it simple.

This book is definitely in the Christian category though, so I recommend this next one if you’re not okay with that.

If you want to dig into relationships, I recommend Suzanne Stabile’s next book on the topic: “The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships“

3. Read The Wisdom Of The Enneagram by Don Richard Riso

This is probably the most cohesive Enneagram book I’ve ever read – and I’ve read at least 7 of them.

I love it because it actually gives you a robust look at each of the types. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this to kick off your Enneagram learning at the VERY beginning, but if you’re already familiar with all the types, this book is the next place to dig in.

4. Follow Enneagram Social Media Accounts

There are a lot of accounts that share conflicting information (or just aren’t super well-versed in it) but there are some really great ones! I highly recommend following a few accounts as you begin to learn more.

My favorite for more practical tips is Nine Types Co. We interviewed her on Playground To Purpose (!!) and her knowledge of the Enneagram is next-level.

For more playful memes, I love @actualenneagram and @rudeassenneagram.

5. Take a paid assessment

After you’ve gotten into the Enneagram for a bit, you might find yourself questioning your type.

I recommend taking a paid assessment at some point (even if you take a free one first) to find your 3 top types.

I was able to get my work to pay for it because it helped the team to understand each other better. So, if you don’t want to pay for the test, it could be a great option for you to ask your boss. Or if you are the boss, do this with your team. It’s such a helpful tool for teams to better understand each other.

I recommend Truity Work Assessments for teams.

6. Find Your Ideal Career with this Enneagram Career Guide

If you’re looking for a career change, this Enneagram Career Guide is a cohesive guide to finding a career that aligns with your motivations. It can be hard to figure out what career path is a good fit for you, so why not use this personality system as a way to get clarity as you seek out your purpose?

Get the Career Guide for 10% off with the code COLEY at checkout.

7. Take The Enneagram IRL Course

Okay, if you’re SUPER into the Enneagram and have already done the above steps, this course is my favorite next-level resource from Nine Types Co, which I mentioned above.

This is the course I’m currently enrolled in from Steph Barron Hall. She’s an enneagram coach and author of The Enneagram In Love (free on Kindle Unlimited!), and she has extensive knowledge of the Enneagram.

The Enneagram IRL course is packed with everything you need to understand your type & others’ types – and how to grow and become the best version of yourself within it. Get on the Enneagram IRL waitlist here.

Comment below on what type you are!

(*We’re Amazon, Truity and Enneagram Career Guide affiliates. We only recommend stuff we love over here! If you decide to purchase from these links, we’ll receive a small commission!)

For me, I wanted this year to be all about breaking away from what was hindering me and breaking through to new levels of my personal and professional life. Simply put, I wanted to get unstuck and since breakthroughs don’t just “happen” to most of us, I knew I needed to take action.

So, to support this shift towards something new, I decided to let go and fast from something different each month in order to interrupt my daily patterns and reveal anything that might be holding me back.

I wanted to turn off auto-pilot, be more aware of my motivations and my hope was that by removing something I was leaning on too heavily, I would get a new perspective on changes I could implement in key areas of my life.

To be clear, the purpose behind each month’s fast was not to deprive myself or to make some big sacrifice to force a desired result.

It wasn’t a new diet or publicity stunt to gain a few followers. Rather, it was to make simple changes that would lead to a bigger impact on my overall health and well-being.

In a world where hustle culture screams we take massive action, I knew there had to be a way to make change a gentle and healing process – and that’s exactly what happened.

The Social Media Fast

Even though I didn’t consider myself much of a scroller, I knew social media would pop up at some point during this year of letting go.

But if it really wasn’t a struggle, then why was I hesitating when it came time to hit “delete?”

While I don’t often connect social media to my identity as a person, I DO use it heavily to support my business.

I took some time to do some soul searching and I realized that I was nervous about stepping away out of fear of missing out on some unknown potential client.

Now, I am NOT about to live and work out of fear, so I knew I had to let go right away.

Honestly, I wasn’t expecting anything profound after I hit submit on my “BRB IG” post letting my community know I was off for the month and how to reach me.

Maybe I would get a bit more time here and there but after all, since I felt “nobody” was seeing my posts thanks to Mr. Algorithm (I call him Al for short), I assumed this social media fast probably wouldn’t make a difference in the end.

Oh, how wrong I was!

Here are a few things I learned when I took a month long social media break

Being more present wasn’t an immediate reaction

Admittedly, I wasn’t instantly more present when deleting my social apps. It took a few days to detox but when I did, it was wonderful. I was able to breathe deeper, get a little more rest in between tasks and be more present in all the ways.

My eyes opened more toward what could be coming my way rather than opportunities I might have missed with a well-timed post or story.

Getting out of the habit of reaching for my phone – even to snap a picture for a later post – allowed me to really see what was in front of me and enjoy the fullness of the moment.

Social media isn’t the only avenue for growth in business

I started the month afraid of missing out on business connections but during my online absence, I celebrated booking my biggest client to date, I created a new program that brings me JOY to offer my community and I brought on a new team member to get the support I needed for the rapid growth.

Because my hands weren’t gripped so tight on what I thought should be the next step, I was ready to receive unexpected opportunities with open arms.

More people see your posts than you think

When I posted about my hiatus, friends and family quickly reached out to make sure I was ok.

Was I being bullied? Was I burnt out or drowning in comparison? I was happy to report this was simply a release rather than a cry for help.

My intention with taking a break wasn’t a test to see how many people truly cared but it became evident that our virtual communities do keep us in the circles with our favorite people.

A social media fast wasn’t life-altering but it was great

Hitting pause on my social media accounts didn’t feel like the huge weight lift I anticipated. You’ve likely seen examples of influencers taking social media breaks and or leaving altogether and if you’re like me, it seemed to result in an all-or-nothing approach.

And if you are also someone who participates on social platforms to build community, create content and grow or be present for your business, you know it can feel like a job at times.

I incorrectly assumed that stepping away would leave a gaping hole in my day.

What I realized was that I had been trying to shove it into pockets of time meant for other tasks so I felt like I was on it all day long.

By removing this task from my stack of multi-tasking, I was able to concentrate better and get other projects done more efficiently.

True community on social media is alive and well

I was shocked at how people continued to reach out during the month saying they noticed my absence and were used to seeing my family and me in my regular posts. When would I come back? Am I gone forever? How are my kids doing? Was I sure I was ok?

The consistent check-ins led me to evaluate how I connect with friends on and offline and solidified my desire to return back to social media after the month ended, but this time with more intentional content.

Have you considered or been nervous about taking time off social media?

I encourage you to examine why that feels so scary and then do a social media fast anyway! I am thankful to come back refreshed, refocused, and realigned and you deserve to have that, too.