Depending on who you are and the personal dynamics of your life, the answer could be simple (as in I know the exact time and place when things started to take a turn) or complicated (as in I have to evaluate my entire existence and deeply reflect to even begin to make sense of my life right now).

Wherever you are on this spectrum, one thing is sure: if you desire a change, you can make it.

This is the crux of every motivational talk or book you’ll ever read. Yes, you can make a change but the more significant question­­­­­, at least for me, is how do I make that change?

How do I ensure that my goals and dreams actually happen? How do I go from scared and confused to confident and certain?

I’ve learned quite a few things since the world was forced to slow down, and, in this piece, I’d like to share with you one of the poignant ideas that have come to the fore. And that is The Power Of The Slight Edge or The Compound Effect, or the redeeming concept of ‘sticktoitiveness’ (or whatever you like to call it).

Jeff Olson, in his book The Slight Edge, lays a foundation for the thoughts that began to unravel in my own heart as far as my life is concerned. Why do some people ‘make it’ and others don’t? Why do some reach and even surpass their goals while others barely scratch the surface?

He doesn’t claim to have all the answers, and neither do I, but he does make a case for a compelling yet deceptively simple concept: the simple actions you take every day.

Stay with me.

What does a writer do? Write.

What does a businessman do? Make deals, do business.

What does someone who wants to be healthy do? Eat right, exercise, take care of their body.

You get the point.

The rules are simple: execution is where we struggle. We try it once or twice, then we fail and give up. This cycle of starting something and giving up too early actually reveals that deep down, we have the wrong idea about how these things work. Our philosophy and perspective are probably lacking.

This is a simple concept that’s very easy to miss, so to break it down, I’m sharing three main ideas I got from The Slight Edge and how it has the power to shift your perspective and help you achieve more of what you want.

1. The Failure-Survival-Success Cycle

Think of the last time you were at the end of your rope. You were staring failure in the face, and you knew you had to do something drastic. Failure would be embarrassing, mentally draining, and you needed to avoid it at all costs, so you hatched a plan.

You would do whatever it took to avoid the impending doom. So, you pulled all-nighters, reached out to an old colleague, asked for help, an extension, changed your diet… whatever.

It worked. Soon you began to see a change; there was hope, a light at the end of the tunnel. Things were starting to look great, and you could breathe again. Great!

The natural thing to do would be to continue that upward trajectory. Keep eating right, studying regularly, getting your work done on time, chasing those leads for your business, writing every day to get the manuscript finished… but oh no, you didn’t do that.

You reached the point of survival where things were beginning to look up, and you took the whole process for granted and stopped doing the things that helped you get out of the rut. Unfortunately, success was still quite far away so you plunged down again, headed for failure.

See this whole cycle thing? I feel it. On a cellular level. I’ve been through this cycle so many times, and I keep asking myself why I’m not the raging success I want to be.

Here’s what the author says.

“You already know how to do everything it takes to make you an outrageous success. That’s how you’ve survived up to this point. And if you can survive, then you can succeed. You don’t need to do some brilliant, impossible thing. You don’t need to learn some insanely difficult skills or have some genius-level brainstorm of an innovative idea. All you have to do is keep doing the things that got you this far.”

Word.

2. Look beyond what you see

I’ll be the first to admit, this isn’t easy. One of the reasons we don’t stick to things that have worked is that they haven’t worked fast enough (at least for me it is.)

I don’t want to spend two or three years building an audience by writing a daily blog. I want to be a bestseller now, or at least soon. But the reality is that these things take time. Malcolm Gladwell explained this using his 10,000-hour rule. You have to spend that much time learning, practicing, and doing in order to be at the top of your game in any field. Whether you think this number is accurate or not, the truth is it takes a lot of time to attain sustained success.

So it’s understandable that we so easily give up when we run into obstacles or things aren’t happening fast enough. But we need to train our minds to look beyond what we see and focus on what we know to be true.

Jeff says:

If you base your choices on the evidence, on what you can see, you’re sunk. You need to base your choices on your philosophy––on what you know, not what you see. You need to have faith in the process, you won’t see it happening at first.

So what is this philosophy, and what do we know to be true? This brings me to the third idea.

3. The power of compounding effort

The idea is simple. According to Darren Hardy, author of The Compound Effect, small smart choices done consistently over time creates a radical difference.

Small, Smart Choices + Consistency + Time = Radical Difference

This is essentially the same concept Jeff Olson outlines in The Slight Edge. Time never fails to run its course; it is what we do with that time that matters.

Simple daily disciplines––little productive actions, repeated consistently over time––add up to the difference between success and failure.

The slight edge is relentless and cuts both ways: simple daily disciplines or simple errors in judgment, repeated consistently over time make you or break you.

My personal story

Many years ago, I had the dream to be a fiction author, publishing bestseller after bestseller. I know, not very original. But it was my dream. So I started a blog at the encouragement of my husband (then fiancé). I tried but was never consistent with the blog. It was here today, gone tomorrow. I wrote my first book but never got any real traction with it, so I pivoted.

When I started to share my work online for the first time, I met many other writers like me, working hard to make their dreams come true. Life went on, and we all did what we knew to do. Some of us kept writing, and some of us didn’t. Some were more committed than others.

This summer, I got a pleasant surprise when I opened up Instagram and saw that one of the writers I met at that time many years ago, was now a New York Times Bestselling author.

I was so happy and ecstatic for her. She had kept at it. Working her day job and writing on the side. She didn’t give up for some time only to start again. She kept making those daily choices, consistently, over the years, and now the difference is clear.

I’m not saying everyone will be a bestseller if they keep writing. Heck, I may never be one even if I spent the rest of my life writing. But we’ll never know unless we try.

So here’s to dreaming and doing the work. To making the right choices every day and seeing the growth and improvement that comes with dedication. To breaking out of the failure-survival-success loop. Here’s to living!

When change is good and upward, we celebrate. We want more of those moments. But what about the other kind of change? The one that stifles you, perplexes you, and makes you wonder what you’re doing wrong?

I’ve had many of these moments myself. Like when I took a huge step and found myself in a new country halfway around the world. I thought I was wrestling with new expectations and responsibilities only to realize that I had not only carried over my old fears and insecurities, but I had also suddenly developed new ones.

Or the time I was ready to take on the responsibilities that came with a new phase of life only to realize that many factors, my body included, were working against me.

Have you had those moments? Every other step you take seems to be the wrong one. You work hard, give it your all but just can’t crack the code.

In moments like these, it’s so easy to give up and take whatever life hands you. After all, if you keep your expectations low, you won’t be disappointed, right? Well, wrong. At least as far as I am concerned.

I want more out of life. I want to keep growing, thriving, and changing for the better. And I’ve realized that it is possible. But this possibility comes at a cost—the cost of attention. Changing for the better requires that I pay attention to my life, impulses, motivations, and the entire journey.

Enter the power of reflection.

You know that saying: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity? I believe there’s truth to that.

In my case, I carried around decades-old insecurities and habits that didn’t serve me, refused to seek help and talk through issues that needed to be addressed, so I kept on struggling with the same things. I knew I had to change, and reflection was a tool that helped me get where I needed to be.

So what is reflection?

The free dictionary defines reflection in this context as ‘serious thinking or careful consideration.’ I like this simple definition because it carries in it the importance of the practice.

It’s serious thinking because you’re not just reflecting to be creative or to simply relax (even though there’s a place for that). You’re reflecting because you’re actively looking to understand a situation (in this case, your life and direction) in order to make a much-needed change.

It’s careful consideration because you understand the innate human tendency to gravitate toward easy and not dig deep for fear of finding something unpleasant.

So how does reflecting on one’s life and past experiences help transform your life?

Reflection helped me face my fears.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve carried around a mountain of fears all my life. At the core of these fears was one powerful limiting element –– the way I was, the way I showed up in the world was not enough. If there was something to be done, I didn’t think I was up to the task. If there was something to be said, I believed no one wanted to hear it from me.

I lived this way for many years. And even though I knew I wanted more, I just couldn’t envision a future where I had all I wanted, so I self-sabotaged. The combination of passionate drive and a deep desire to succeed, coupled with lacerating fears and insecurities, is truly a recipe for insanity.

Things started to change the moment I stopped long enough to really reflect on and evaluate my life. I considered all my false starts and failures, and I found a common thread––fear that had masqueraded as reality. It was time for it to go.

Reflection helped me challenge my assumptions.

In his book, Lean Startup, Eric Ries talks about the assumptions companies make about their product or service and how it can be a trap that leads to failure.

In many areas of my life, I was working on assumptions that had never been tested. I assumed people were going to buy my book just because I was so excited about it and had worked super hard to write and publish it. I thought I could just start a “new life” and leave all my fears and insecurities behind without fixing deep-rooted issues. I assumed I was going to be a terrible speaker because I always believed that ‘I don’t think well on my feet.’

So many assumptions. And I only realized I was operating on these assumptions when I took the time to relive my experiences and reflect on my thought processes during these different periods of my life.

Reflection helps me prepare for the future I want

The more I consider my life and experiences, the more I unearth questionable habits and thought processes that have kept me in a vicious circle of failure and self-sabotage. This is great because transforming your lifestyle from there is simple but not easy. I’m constantly reevaluating my motivations and impulses in the light of the future I know I want and deserve.

So how does one practice reflection?

It depends totally on you. If you’re naturally introspective, you might find yourself doing it instinctively. But if not, you can take the time to build it into your schedule.

Grab your journal and try to process your thoughts by answering some clarifying questions.

Talk to someone who knows you well, like a parent, sibling or friend to fill in gaps in your memory about significant events that have shaped your life, and then evaluate your growth in the light of these insights.

Try to understand your impulses by stopping in the middle of a thought to evaluate why you’re thinking it, if possible, or make a mental (or physical) note to address that thought at a later time.

These simple practices will reveal layers of understanding about your character, your nuances, and your experiences. And hopefully, help you make changes, reinforce good habits, and chart a new course wherever needed.

Do you practice reflection? What new insights have you discovered about yourself and your thoughts about your future?

Well, I wasn’t one of those kids.

I only had one thing in mind. I was going to be a doctor. I didn’t know any doctors personally, so it wasn’t that I was inspired by someone in my life. I simply took on the pressures of the possibility of a high ideal, high-pressure career because society told me to.

So, I was sure I was going to be a doctor, that is until I saw a documentary detailing a bloody surgery, and I knew I wasn’t exactly the doctor type. I did the next best thing at the time and studied Microbiology in college. Halfway through, I knew my degree was simply going to adorn the walls in my home. What would I do if I wasn’t going to be a doctor or a microbiologist? I had no idea. But I did discover something. I loved to write, and I felt like I had some creativity to speak of.

Life went on, and I stumbled my way through some boring jobs and random positions in my early 20s. With time, I worked my way into a career in publishing and digital marketing. My first job in this field was great, the second one was even better, but the third one tore my heart out.

What I didn’t realize was that my job choices, while they had helped me grow and develop some of my skills and expertise, were slowly chipping away at my joy and zest for life. I wanted more. I wanted different. And it took a long time for me to realize that I could have what I wanted.

So here I was in my 30s, freshly phased out of a job with no idea what to do next. I was at the end of my rope, and you know that expression the only way is up? Well, that was my reality. Luckily, I found my way. A desire I had long nurtured became a possibility as I studied and learned a new skill.

Today, I’m happy with my freelance business in graphic design and finding new ways to explore my creativity outside of my job, something I’ve always been passionate about.

I’m older and wiser, so I thought I’d share some of the insights I have picked up along the way:

My career journey looks more like a winding road than a straight, clear path. I’ve learned to embrace it.

For many years, I felt like I was generally behind in life. I wanted to move faster and go farther. I wanted to make big moves, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe there was something wrong with me. Why did I get bored at work, and why couldn’t I figure out what I wanted to do and just buckle down and become an expert at it?

My idea of climbing a career ladder was definitely different from what most people around me were doing. It took a while for me to accept it, but I eventually realized that I had to embrace my unique experiences for what they were: phases of my personal journey. With time, I stopped feeling like a loser when I scrolled through LinkedIn liking other peoples’ promotion posts and new job announcement updates. 

I learned to appreciate the skills I had picked up along the way and how they helped shape my experiences. I celebrated my courage at trying new things, stepping into the unknown to take a different path, and overcoming my fear of failure. Most importantly, I celebrated my determination to keep moving forward, learning, and creating.

In hindsight, I realize that what I was doing was creating a portfolio life, a concept I first heard from Jeff Goins. I wrote books, launched a podcast, taught a course, and created an online shop. And even though not all these endeavors were successful, I continued to find myself along the way.

To level up, I needed to put in the work and effort. So, I learned to be disciplined.

A couple of years ago, I sat at my desk, staring at my computer screen, wondering what to do next. I had just been phased out of a job I really didn’t enjoy. And while I was happy to be free, I was terrified of what lay ahead. After a bit of soul searching, I realized it was time for me to go full throttle on a new career path I had slowly been testing out over the previous year.

You see, I’d always been drawn to design, but for many years I thought I couldn’t do it. Was I even creative enough to do something like that? It turned out I was. 

I decided to give myself a few months to learn all I could about design. I bought the software, found a few free excellent courses, and started to put my heart and soul into it.

I’d work from 7 am to 6 pm. Take a break to eat dinner, relax, and then study graphic design from 9 pm till midnight. This was my routine for many months. It was a grueling schedule for me at the time, but I knew I had a goal.

So when I sat there contemplating my next move, I realized I had been preparing for this over the past year. I created a portfolio, got my first few clients, and haven’t looked back since.

The truth is there’s always a gap between where you are and where you need to go, and making that shift will require time, effort, and dedication.

My heart is always drawn to new ideas, concepts, and insights. I’ve learned to let myself explore as much as possible.

I get bored easily; this is not a great trait, but I am self-aware enough to accept this and use it to my advantage. Instead of beating myself up for being ‘flaky,’ I’ve learned to reframe my thoughts in a more positive light. I’m a trier. I love to test out new ideas.

I’ve always been interested in different forms of creative expression, so when I get a new idea, which is always only a matter of time, I have decided to pursue and explore as much as I can.

Having a job or business should not be a reason to neglect all other forms of creative expression. Since making my career pivot, I am happy, more engaged at work, less anxious, and have more energy to do more outside of work.

Life is too short to endure our work instead of being inspired by it. As long as it lies within your power (and we have more power than we give ourselves credit for), you can make that change you’ve been dreaming about. Go get it!