The problem is that you are using goal-setting techniques that aren’t effective for you and then blame yourself when they fail.

It’s like trying to cut wood with a rusty, dull axe and then blaming your skills when it doesn’t work. In this blog post, I will teach you why your metaphorical goal-setting axe isn’t working, and I’ll share my all-time favorite (albeit a little unconventional) goal-setting technique!

Here are the reasons what you’re doing is missing the mark:

Reason #1: Arbitrary timelines

People often unconsciously use goals as a means to control and predict outcomes. Translation: you’re using goals as a way to cope with the uncertainty of life and to pressure certain things to happen within arbitrary timelines.

If you’re striving to lose 20 pounds in six months, does it really matter if it takes eight? Or 12? Or is the timeline a way to manage feeling uncomfortable when you look in the mirror?

Do you really need to be a millionaire by thirty-five, or is it a way for you to feel safe with money because you don’t right now? 

When goals are set this way, they become more of an escape plan than a helpful guidepost.

What would it look like if you completely let go of a timeline? I know, goals without timelines might seem taboo.

Traditional goal-setting advice recommends using SMART goals, which are specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, and time-bound. There’s nothing wrong with that approach and some people love them, but if you’re reading this article, I’m guessing that method hasn’t worked for you.

Getting too specific, too measurable, and too time-oriented can create rigidity. This causes you to feel suffocated by your goal instead of inspired by it, leading to disappointment if you don’t meet it perfectly.

Reason #2: Types of goals you’re setting

You can set two types of goals: process goals and outcome goals. A process goal is deciding to go to the gym three days per week. An outcome goal is setting a specific number of pounds you want to lose or an amount of weight you want to squat.

A money-related process goal is to put money in your savings account every time you get paid. An outcome goal would be to have an extra $5,000 in your bank account by the end of the year.

Theoretically, if you hit your process goal, you will likely achieve your outcome goal. So if you focus on outcome goals but neglect process goals, you fixate on what you want rather than what it takes to get there.

Reason #3: Assuming what is necessary

Let’s say you want to quit your job and go full-time in your online business. You might have a list of things or actions you need to take to make that dream a reality. Let’s say you need to create a website, post regularly on social media, advertise, get more clients, save a certain amount of money, etc.

How many things on that list will move the needle forward? What is genuinely necessary vs. what you think is necessary based on your perceptions or what others tell you?

If you enjoy the process, you are 83.6% more likely to reach your goals if you enjoy what you’re doing (yes, I made that statistic up). But think about it – do you want to hit a goal by muscling through things you wish you didn’t have to do or by doing what you enjoy? What do you think is going to be easier to stick with and will be more likely to produce the results you want? 

If you brain dump a list of what you think is necessary to achieve your goals, look down, and think, “YEAH, NO, I don’t feel like doing that,” get creative! What else could you do to achieve your goal that doesn’t include those things? Ask yourself what would be FUN!

There’s more than one way to get to 9. You can add 8+1, subtract 11-2, and multiply 3*3; few of many options. Where are you telling yourself the only way to get to 9 is 6+3? Find your flavor of how you want to get there.

Note: If no ideas you come up with sound fun, re-assess the goal. For example, if you want to run a marathon but every physical conditioning exercise you think of sounds awful, running a marathon might not be the best goal for you. If you are going to hate every moment of the process for a few brief moments of accomplishment, what’s the point?

My favorite (unconventional) goal-setting technique

As someone who often set goals I didn’t achieve, I knew I had to devise a better way. This approach releases timelines, creates opportunities for fun and flexibility, and focuses on outcomes through processes.

Step 1. Decide what area(s) of your life you want to set goals in.

Many of my clients’ goals boil down to improving relationships, finances, health, careers, or overall happiness. If you struggle with consistency and maintaining your habits, I’d recommend starting with just one goal and then working from there.

What area of your life would you most like to improve? What feels the most important to address first?

Step 2. Choose your goal

This approach differs from SMART goals because your goal can be vague. In fact, it should be! Let’s take health, for example. Your goal could be “improve health.” It could be “improve body image,” or “get stronger,” or “clear up my skin.” Whatever feels good for you!

Step 3. Formulate your goals into a question

Whatever you have identified in step 2, plug it into the question, “what’s something fun I could do today to support _________?”

• What’s something fun I could do today to support my health?
• What’s something fun I could do today to support my body image?
• What’s something fun I could do today to support my strength?
• What’s something fun I could do today to support my skin?

Whatever your question is, answer it! Brain dump everything you could do that would feel fun and would support your goal. If it feels fun but doesn’t support the goal, it’s out. If it supports the goal but doesn’t feel fun, it’s definitely out. Now, you have a list to work from.

Ask yourself this question daily, choose something off your list, and do it. It could be fun to do the same thing every day (or if you’re like me) you might get bored quickly and switch it up often. It doesn’t matter! As long as you’re supporting your goal and having fun.

That’s it :) Rinse and repeat!

Another option: ditch goals altogether

If this method doesn’t pique your interest or the information in this post didn’t spur any new ideas, consider taking a break from setting goals, period. *Gasp.* While goals help guide you in your pursuits, they are not the only way to be successful.

When we think of someone who doesn’t have goals, it’s usually with a negative connotation – *cue the image of someone unemployed, ripping bongs, and eating Oreos on the couch all day.* But the belief that you need goals to be successful is just that – a belief. Which means you can choose a new belief. Goal setting is a tool that should be used to help you, but it’s not a code of conduct to live by. If it doesn’t feel helpful for you in this season, drop it all together (without guilt!).

Instead, focus on living. Breathing. Being. Spend time on things that you enjoy and make you happy. When you follow that energy, achieving your goals becomes a natural byproduct instead of something you are pushing and forcing.

–

Happy goal setting!

What is a screen time goal?

I’m defining a “screen time” goal as a goal that you set around reducing your time spent on your computer or phone. I’m not defining this as time on your computer or phone for work, but more for when you’re using it for mindless scrolling or when you’re on it more than you’d like. Creating phone and technology boundaries can help you to make the time you’re on screens more intentional.

Why should you set a screen time goal?

Having a concrete goal around something can help you to make what you desire to happen a reality. When you have a set plan, it’s so much easier to achieve your desired outcome. If screen time is causing you to be distracted at work or in your life and it’s keeping you from spending your time doing what you love, it might be a good time to set some productive goals around limiting your screen time!

10 Screen Time Goals To Set

1. Take One Day A Week Off Socials

Or maybe start with your most-used social app, like TikTok or Instagram. Call it “Screen Free Saturday” or “Sacred Sunday.”

2. Improve your screen time each week

Do you have it set up on your phone to give you screen time alerts?

Make a goal to continue to decrease your screen time each week. It doesn’t have to be by a lot, but imagine how much more focused you would be at the end of the year if you decreased your screen time every single week.

3. Challenge yourself to only 3 hours of phone time per day

Or whatever feels like a good amount for you to feel your best.

I know that for me, social media is part of my job, so doing much less than three isn’t realistic. Find the magic number that feels healthy to you, and make it a goal to stick to that every day! You could even make a habit tracker to keep you accountable.

4. Put away your phone for social events

Make it a goal that for social situations, you keep your phone in your purse or tucked away somewhere. You can snap a pic or two and then put it away for the rest of the time. It’s never enjoyable to be around a group of people who are all just on their phones the whole time!

If you throw a party, you could even have a little basket for everyone to put their phones, so that everyone is social and distraction-free for the night!

5. Exchange your screen time for something better

Feel like you have no time to learn a new skill you’ve been wanting to try, like learning an instrument or a language? Or maybe you’ve been trying to read more.

Trade out the time you usually tend to scroll for that new activity! It’s always a little uncomfortable when you trade an old habit for a new one. It helps to remind yourself about how being on your phone too much makes you feel – and opt for a different approach that will be better for your mental health. Take note on how you feel after you exchange your screen time for something else!

6. Go without your phone for the last hour before bed

You can smash out two goals in one with this one, because if you lessen your screen time before bed, you’re likely to get a more restful night of sleep. Set your phone in the charger, make sure your morning alarm is on, and don’t look back!

I always recommend reading before bed, especially fiction books. It always leaves me feeling sleepy, without the blue light from your screen that hinders your sleep.

See this list of 21 evening wind-down routine ideas that don’t include screen time!

7. Keep your bedroom as a phone-free zone

In fact, I love to have my bedroom screen-free altogether. I broke this rule for a while, but I noticed that I’m better off keeping my bedroom free from the television and phone. I have better sleep because my brain associates my bedroom with sleep!

8. Go off the grid

Make a goal to go on a camping trip or some kind of phone-free adventure where you’ll forget to check in or maybe don’t even have cell service, so you can just enjoy your time with your people, distraction-free.

We could all use vacations where we really decompress and feel like we’re MIA from the world.

9. Go on a social media hiatus

Can’t go completely off the grid? Do a social media break instead. One of our contributors talked about their experience with a month-long social media hiatus here.

10. Watch one episode a night, instead of multiple

If you want to start watching less television, start reducing the hours you watch instead of eliminating it altogether. I love watching TV and don’t want to give it up, but I also love having goals around exchanging that time with doing more activities that I want to prioritize, like reading.

Whether you’re creating goals for the new year and starting 2023 with exciting ideas for what you want the year to look like, or you’re feeling like you need to make a change, come back to this list anytime for some reminders.

Here are 16 gentle reminders for setting goals:

1. It’s okay if your plans change

Keep the goals the same and be flexible with the plans. Or, if you realize that a goal isn’t working for you, change it. You get to set the rules. There are a lot of different ways to achieve one goal. Treat it like an experiment and find the way that works best for you to stay consistent.

2. Habits are easier & more important than goals

Instead of bigger goals, focus on the habits you’re doing every single day. It’s a lot simpler to look at your everyday habits than to focus on those long-term results you want to achieve. One step at a time.

3. Small actions still move you forward

Speaking of steps, every move you make toward your goals is a step in the right direction. Even if your capacity is lower in this season, make some small steps toward getting what you want.

4. It’s not a competition

Work at your own pace, and recognize that there’s no competition except maybe with yourself and working to live up to your own potential. And even with competing with yourself, recognize that you will have a different capacity at different points in your life (and even your menstrual cycle as a woman!)

5. You don’t have to wait for a new year to set goals

You can set goals at any time. You don’t need a new year, a new month, a new week or any excuse to decide that you want to set new goals for yourself.

6. You have dreams for a reason

I truly believe that when we feel this pull to do something, it’s for a reason. It means that you have the capacity to make it happen. Especially when you can’t stop thinking about it.

7. As Taylor Swift says, “You’re on your own kid.”

No one will ever care about your goals the way that you do. And that’s okay, but it’s a reminder that you can’t listen too much to what other people have to say. They’re not the ones who are living your life. They have their own fears they’re projecting onto you. If you want something, you’re the one who has to decide to keep going after it.

8. You can’t do life wrong

There’s no one way to live your life, and all of the “mistakes” you’ve made have hopefully taught you something. If you want to make a change in your life, you can do so at any point in time. You can’t do this wrong, so don’t beat yourself up if you feel “behind”, this is just the path your life is taking. Keep going.

9. You don’t have to do everything by yourself

Ask for help when you need to. Professional athletes at the top of their game still have coaches. People who seem to “do it all” often have help in making it happen. Recognize when you need to outsource, delegate or remove something in order to make time for these goals, so you can prioritize them. It’s not a weakness to ask for help.

10. Check in with your goals

After you set your goals, check in to make sure they’re still working for you. Don’t just set and forget your goals, but actually make a point to check in on them weekly – or at least monthly.

Not just to measure your progress, but also to make sure it still feels aligned with your values and what you want from life.

11. You get to define success

It’s hard to remember sometimes that success isn’t what our parents or society has told us and shown us. Feel like you’d rather be able to travel the world than make 6 figures at an office job? You get to define that.

12. Do your future self a favor and plan ahead

I swear it’s the little things when it comes to planning that makes all the difference when it comes to setting goals. When do you want them to happen? Where is it taking place? Book the class, make the simple moves that help make it as easy as possible.

13. Goals should be a fun challenge

Research says that there is a sweet spot for the goals you set – it should feel both challenging, while also realistic. If you start out setting goals with low confidence that you will achieve them, that will likely be your reality.

14. Surround yourself with people who inspire you

You’ve probably heard the phrase from Jim Rohn, “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” Hang out (both physically & on social media) with people who give you inspiration and motivation to go after your goals.

15. Measuring your goals is helpful until it’s not

Make sure your goals are aligned with your values, and you’re not setting goals with arbitrary numbers that don’t actually mean anything to you. What’s the reason for having a goal to reach 10,000 followers on Instagram? What does that actually mean? Make sure you’re checking in to see why you’re setting goals like this in the first place.

16. You are capable of making big things happen

Most important of all, here’s a reminder that you can make your goals happen. It’s a lot easier to have faith that you can make your goals happen when you have a lot of past proof or have had advantages in life. But regardless of any of that, you are just as capable as anyone else to make your dreams happen. Nothing is better than proving others (and yourself) wrong by going after your goals!

What reminders would you add to this list while you are setting goals?

You’re welcome to do these all at one time, or break these up into the weeks leading up to the New Year. Or, opt to just do a few that will make you feel the best.

Why should you digitally declutter your life before the new year?

I think I’m in the majority when I say that I love a good decluttering session at the start of a new chapter. And even though you can reset your life at any point in time, it’s the perfect excuse to start off with a fresh slate.

We spend a lot of time on our phones and computers, but often forget how much our virtual spaces affect our moods. There’s science behind this too! Clutter can increase our stress, decrease our ability to focus, and can cause us to lose sleep too.

Let’s start 2023 with digitally decluttering, so you can be more stress-free, productive, and sleep better knowing that you’re organized and put together.

1. Clear your desktop

If you use your desktop as a way to hoard your downloads, it’s time to give it some TLC. Get rid of things you don’t need and get everything else organized in files.

2. Sort your files

Speaking of files, let’s sort find them some appropriate folders!

I finally got good at doing this when I bought a new computer a few years ago and started from scratch, but I still know there are some files that are messy, like my downloads folder. Delete files you don’t need anymore and sort the ones you do. Make it so that you have a place for everything, so you can always easily find your files! I swear this one will change your life and it’s worth the time!

If this feels way too overwhelming because all your files are all over the place, create a massive folder for all your past files and create new folders for the system you plan to use going forward.

3. Sort your inbox with filters

I love having certain filters on, so that newsletters will automatically go into a folder that I can go through later when I have time. It’s a simple way to help your future self by setting things up for automation.

4. Delete & unsubscribe to junk emails

Did you know that digital pollution is a thing? Get rid of those emails you don’t need. Something that I do to make it less overwhelming is to throw all my old emails into a folder to go through the deletion process. And then anything new that comes into my inbox that I don’t need, I’ll unsubscribe each day as they come in.

It can be kind of daunting to go through thousands of emails but if you’re just looking at that day’s mail, it’s easier to tackle! But, don’t forget to come back to that folder to delete existing emails too!

5. Reset your weak passwords

If you’ve gotten those notifications that you have weak passwords, it’s time to reset! Plus, it’s good to change out your passwords every few months.

6. Go through your bookmarks

I’m a big “bookmark” girly on my Google Chrome, especially with my “things to buy” folder. But soon enough, it becomes irrelevant. Time to go through those lists and keep only what’s useful.

7. Unsubscribe to some of your following/subscriber lists

Sometimes who we follow gets a little stale. Go through your following list and see who you still follow who you haven’t engaged with in awhile. Maybe you’ll rekindle your love for their content and tell the algo that you do still love their content! Or, maybe it’s no longer a good fit for you and it’s time to unfollow or unsubscibe.

Platforms to do an unfollow spree:

• Instagram
• TikTok
• Facebook
• Podcasts
• YouTube
• Twitter

8. Go through your paid subscriptions

It’s easy to just let them keep going when they’re automated, but really ask yourself – how much use out of this am I actually getting? How many Apple TV+ shows am I watching? Or do I really need this video editing app for my business? Maybe explore alternative, cheaper options. Or, maybe on the opposite end, it’s time to invest in some upgraded subscriptions – especially while they’re on sale!

9. Delete apps you don’t use

Downloaded a game you haven’t played in a while? It’s easy to forget about those apps on your computer or phone that you’re not using anymore! Try to find at least 5 apps that you don’t use often and get rid of them! If you really need it again, you can always add it back.

10. Categorize your apps

Make things easier to find, so it’s a better experience for you! Sort them into folders if that’s your vibe! There are also really cute widgets you can add like the Pinterest widget allows you to add images from boards you follow.

11. Organize your life with an app

Whether it’s ClickUp or Google Calendar, or I use a combination of both, get your life digitally organized. Maybe you’re still a paper planner, but I’m telling you, it’s essential to have a project management tool as a business owner.

12. Find a new background

I love starting every month off with a new background. The Everygirl has really cute monthly wallpapers.

13. Get rid of notifications

I hate notifications on my phone. I’m that person who has to look at them, so that they go away. If you’ve been getting really distracted, take off your notifications! Or set “do not disturb” times on your phone and computer.

14. Set app and screen time limitations

Along the same lines, set some screen time limits, so that you can get alerted when you’ve reached the time. Even if I dismiss the notification for the day, I’m more aware of how much time I’m spending on TikTok which is better than just mindlessly being on your phone for hours.

15. Update your apps

Is everything up-to-date? Do a computer and phone update.

16. Clean your computer & phone screen

Nothing feels better than a freshly clean phone and computer screen, right? Also, if you have a keyboard & mouse, give those some love too.

17. Finish a digital course you bought

Throwing this in here, because I know some of my fellow biz besties and friends need this reminder! Use the extra downtime over the holidays to complete that course you bought!

18. Go through your Google Drive

You might have a lot of shared files that you don’t have control over, but chances are that you also have a lot of files that need some sorting.

19. Clear your cache

On both your phone and computer. And while you’re at it on the phone, make sure you close out all those browser tabs!

20. Go through your camera roll

And last but not least, this one’s a doozy. Let’s back up your photos and get rid of the ones you don’t need anymore!

Once you’re digitally decluttered, it’s officially time to move onto the physical clutter – yay!

“First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not.” – Octavia Butler

That quote is only one of the many such words of wisdom that remind us that habits are the foundation to success. A daily routine will reduce the clutter in your mind so you can be more creative in your work. Yet still, that’s easier said than done.

I don’t know about you, but habits have been a constant struggle in my life. I read the Power of Habit and Atomic Habits and 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I implemented their methods but nothing seemed to stick. None of them aligned well with how my brain actually works. 

Then one day I heard about the Clean With Me podcast. I thought it was great. It took the decision-making out of a not-so-desirable necessity. Rather than feeling overwhelmed by what to clean or where to clean, I just hit play and she guides me through the process.

Then I thought–what if this was more expansive? What if I just had to hit play in the morning and the rest of my day was decided for me? 

This thought led me to devise The Playlist Method.

How The Playlist Method Works To Guide A Productive Week

It’s a simple concept. 

Create a playlist that’s filled with music you absolutely adore. Then intersperse blocks of  “good habit” activities you want to add to your day. 

Some examples:

• Daily affirmations
• Meditation
• Exercise
• Stretching
• Deep Work
• Cues to take a break

Once you put in that initial work, all you have to do is hit play and let the playlist guide you through your day. This eliminates the guesswork, the paralyzing effects of indecisiveness, and reduces decision fatigue.

The easiest way to understand how it works is to look at an example.

My Monday Playlist

Let me walk you through my Monday playlist. 

I use Spotify but don’t let the platform you use limit the possibilities of this method. Get creative with how you use songs and sounds to cue different activities.

Morning Routine 

I have headphones set right next to my phone so as soon as I turn off my alarm, I put them on and start my Monday Playlist. 

Right from the start, I’m greeted with one of my favorite songs (“Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO). It’s so happy and upbeat that it alone works wonders to encourage a positive mood to start the day.

I use this first song to use the bathroom and brush my teeth and give my dogs a chance to wake up. As the playlist continues, I put on my shoes and leash my dogs and head out the door for our morning walk.

This walk takes about 25 minutes, so I include enough songs to cover its entire length plus buffer time.

At the end, I have a cue song (“Friday Morning” by Khruangbin). I use this in the same spot every day to let myself know that the next set of activities is coming.

This song leads me into my morning affirmation. I use a bonus episode of the podcast Better With Paul where the host says an affirmation for positive thinking.

This flows into 10 minutes of morning meditation. I found an artist called Sound Dreamer who has a wide selection of sounds at set lengths of time. You could use these for any number of activities.

Now that I’m relaxed and clear-headed, it’s time for some energy. I use a podcast called Tiny Workouts where the host guides you through short, simple workouts. Monday is arms and shoulders for me.

After this, I have another block of my favorite music during which I shower and dress, feed my dogs and myself, and then walk to the local cafe. 

Total time: 1 hr 40 m 03 s. The playlist also functions to keep me on time in the morning.

The Work Day

I use 4 x 90 minute blocks of Brown Noise as working sessions for a total of 6 dedicated hours of focused work. 

Between each block I have 3 – 5 songs that cue me to take a break. During this time, I will get up, stretch, walk around, grab a coffee refill, or eat a snack. I don’t eat again until after work so snack breaks are essential.

After Work

After the last 90-minute session, there’s an extended block of music which guides me home and into whatever my plans are for the latter part of the day.

At this point, I often stop the playlist while I socialize with friends and family, watch TV/movies, read, run, walk and listen to an audiobook, etc.

Bedtime Routine

The crucial second decision of the day is jumping back into the playlist to set my bedtime. 

When I’ve concluded my evening plans, I check the time to see how long I have until I need to start my bedtime routine.  I divide this by 4, which creates an approximate number of songs I’ll need to cover the time. For example:

60 minutes / 4 = 15 songs

4 minutes per song is the closest approximation where the math is still easy.

I count back that many songs from the end of the playlist and hit play.

I use another Khruangbin song (“White Gloves”) to cue the start of my bedtime routine, which includes skin care and teeth care and other prep.

Then I have another Tiny Workout–this one for stretching–another Better With Paul affirmation–this one for self-love–and a final 10 minute block of soothing sounds for evening meditation.

At this point the playlist concludes, which is a cue to put my phone away for the day. I set it and my headphones to charge and spend the rest of the night reading until it’s time to go to sleep.

Other Days Of The Week

I went further and created a different playlist for each day of the week. You can see each of them here:

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

Each playlist has a different feel to reflect how I think that day feels. It’s fun to get cutsie with selections like “Stuck in the Middle with You” on Wednesday or “Friday I’m in Love” on Friday.

Even though creating all these playlists is more work upfront, it has a few advantages:

• New music each day so it doesn’t get stale
• Variable workouts to hit each part of the body
• Different routine structures depending on the goal of the day

Customize It For Yourself

Obviously, each of these is custom-tailored for my day and my goals. The key to the success of this method is putting in the initial work to make the playlist work for you.

• Choose music that you absolutely adore so you’ll be excited to hit play.
• Base the length of each block around your schedule.
• Include the activities that you want to do based on your goals.
• Pick podcast episodes with hosts who you enjoy listening to. 

The reason I chose Better With Paul and Tiny Workouts is because I love the hosts. The sound of their voices, the background music, and their encouraging nature. They feel like good friends and make me excited to incorporate those activities into my life.

Set it up so that you want to use the method, rather than feeling like you have to follow it. This mental distinction is essential for the method to work.

How To Simplify The Playlist Method

This whole full-day thing may feel a bit overwhelming. You don’t need to plan out your entire day to make use of this method. 

Instead, you can just make a morning routine playlist that guides you from bed to the office. Or just an evening playlist that ensures you get to bed on time.

The concept is flexible. Fit it to your needs and your goals.

Looking To The Future

It’s important to make adjustments regularly. 

• Change the songs to keep it fresh. 
• Change what activities you do as your goals change. 
• Change the order based on what’s working or not working.

Anytime you start to feel the monotony of the routine, switch it up instead of abandoning it altogether.

This method has been transformative for me. I’m feeling mentally and physically healthier, and I’m getting more done than I ever have before. I hope that you can find similar benefits from this method.

My summer theme was “vibrant girl summer” a spinoff from the “hot girl summer” phenomenon.

For me, this meant that I was feeling alive that summer – doing lots of fun and new things, and living on purpose.

I decided to go all in. I created a playlist, decided to only read books that felt like they fit the “vibrant girl summer” energy, watched upbeat shows, painted my nails vibrant colors, and created a fun bucket list.

While I didn’t check off every single thing, the summer was exactly what I wanted it to be, and I feel like that’s because I went in with the theme. I cultivated the vibe I wanted to experience, if you will.

As fall is now approaching, I’m thinking about my next theme.

I’m not quite ready to go full cozy mode; I still want lots of adventures. So, I’ve had to think about what I want that to look and feel like.

My life theme for Autumn

I’m going with “feel good fall” as a way to explore different things like what makeup style makes me feel good, playing with my wardrobe, and watching shows and movies that leave me feeling good, etc.

I was initially going for a darker theme, which we talk about in an upcoming episode of Playground To Purpose, a podcast with my childhood bestie about adding more play into your everyday.

Ultimately, I decided I was craving a bit of an extension to summer. This is in total contrast to what my co-host Nina is doing (a super unique theme!), which is a fun thing we’ll keep you updated on as we explore these themes. I’ll keep hers a surprise, so you’ll have to tune in!

Life themes have helped me to add more intention to a period of time – and allow myself to figure out what I want it to feel like ahead of time.

As much as we can’t predict aspects of our lives, we can go in with a purpose, so that we’re not left with a “wow, that just flew by!” feeling. Instead, I’ve been more present and gotten a little out of my comfort zone.

How to select your seasonal theme

What kind of vibe do you want to experience? What do you want to add more of to your life?

I also like to think of the literal seasonal change. In summer, you’re likely going to be outdoors more, maybe you’ll be taking vacation time, and it may be a slower work season. In the winter, it may be more at-home time, celebrating holidays.

Factor that into your life theme choice.

Seasonal life theme examples

Nina (my co-host on Playground to Purpose) had a theme for the summer season which was “Nina’s Summer of Adventure and Magic.”

For her, this meant reading lots of fantasy magical-themed novels, going on lots of trips, attending a whimsical tea party, catching epic sunsets, late night exploring in Las Vegas, scavenger hunt in New Orleans, and enjoying spooky places.

Here are some other ideas:

• Soft Girl Autumn
• Cottagecore Aesthetic
• Baddie
• Cozy Fall Vibes
• Parisian Aesthetic
• Self Care
• Wanderlust
• Adventure
• Hygge
• Coastal Grandmother
• Preppy
• Bold
• Moody
• Memorable
• Ease and flow
• Aesthetic autumn
• Focused fall
• Moody and mysterious (my original theme for fall)
• Barbiecore
• Back to the basics
• Crafty & Creative

If you can’t tell, I love a little alliteration moment. There are really no rules for what your theme can be, and what you want it to look like during the season.

For soft girl autumn, you could focus on cooking meals slowly (like slow cooker meals), working on long-term projects, buying a disposable camera, and getting photos developed instead of instantly snapping them on your phone.

For a Parisian aesthetic, you could buy a few Parisian-inspired outfits for the season, watch French movies, make some pastries, create a playlist of French music, etc.

For “Back to the Basics,” you could simplify everything in your life. You could plan to clean out your closet, find some “staples” for your wardrobe, have more time offline, etc.

Things to do to plan for a new season’s theme

Decide what it looks like for your lifestyle

I use my theme to inspire my style, activities that I want to do, what I watch, listen to, and read. I only use the theme for what feels fun or interesting, but I use it as a guide for what I want the overall mood or vibe to be for the season.

Create a playlist

I love starting off with a playlist to represent the theme. You could find one on Spotify, or craft your own. Obviously, I’ll listen to other music during this time as well, but it’s fun to have one solely dedicated to the vibe.

Create a mood board

My vision board on Pinterest includes both what I want to do and experience, as well as how I want to feel. It’s a fun way to get more clarity on what you want to wear and what you want to experience. You could also create a color palette!

I like picking a theme that’s broad enough to keep you going for a three-month time period. That way, the theme continues to feel fun and like I can do a lot within it.

Create a themed bucket list

I love creating a list of the activities I want to do within my city. Plus, any travels I’m already planning on. It’s fun when you pair a trip with your theme as a guide for what activities you want to do. I find that I’ve been much more intentional about getting friends together with my bucket list. I crossed off 13 things from my last list!

You could also create some goals around your themes too if you want to make it feel more productive! In a way, my bucket list also doubles as the “fun goals” I want to make happen.

So what do you think? Will you start creating seasonal themes for your life? Have you already been doing this? Tell us what you’re going to plan for the next season!

But come on now. We’re in 2022 – and being in your thirties is still young. I turned 30 last year and discovered Brittany Allyn of ThirtyWaves and felt so connected to her story, her love for travel, and her coined term of “MeMoons” aka a honeymoon to celebrate your love for you.

So we chatted with Brittany all about her mission and why she’s living her best life in her mid-thirties, and you can too! I hope you take away a lot of inspiration here, especially if you feel like you’re starting over in your thirties or want to make a change and feel like it’s too late for you!

Let’s get into it!

@thirtywaves Day 1: my bougie #memoon in the South Of France #travelvlog #memoon #solomoon #30s #travelbucketlist #frenchriviera #fyp #foryou ♬ I Love You So – The Walters

Coley: I discovered you through your amazing TikTok @ThirtyWaves from a video talking about how you’re living your best life in your mid-thirties, can you share what the inspiration was behind this account?

Brittany Allyn: Yes, to be honest, I’ve actually been doing this for over a decade! 

In my twenties, as a way a cathartic way to work through relationship and life’s problems I’d sit in bed and blog every night. I started a website called twentywaves, discussing the ups and down (the waves if you will) of your twenties. I took a break for a few years, and later developed thirtywaves.

It started as a blog and insta, and then Covid’s Tiktok phenomenon came around and the rest was history! I never loved the perfectly curated image and always wanted to focus on the captions and storytelling, so videos made more sense.

I started getting messages on the daily from other women finding it relieving to see other women on a similar path (alternative in terms of marriage or society timelines), and those sweet messages were, and still are, what keeps me going. 

What did you think your thirties would look like when you were younger & what surprised you about them?

Ha! Like many of you: Married, perfect husband, suburb life with 2 kids by 30. 27 was my dream marriage age. I was in a relationship from 21-25 and almost went down that route. Then, when I got closer to that age I realized my soul was pushing me in a different direction. I wanted to see what it was like living in new cities, traveling the world, and expanding life as I knew it. As the years went on, I realized I was always meant to live this more independent life and have never had doubts that I made a mistake by moving away.

You’ve started completely over in your 30s several times. You went to NYC to London, can you tell us about these experiences of deciding to do something completely new?

Yes, I moved to NYC the week I turned 30.

What’s funny is I felt SO young then, and that the world was my oyster. It didn’t feel any different than I was 25, and while it can be a detriment sometimes in terms of avoidant attachment styles, NYC is a glorious little bubble where you don’t feel like you have to “act your age” or pressure to grow up.

Of course, I would sometimes compare my life to friend’s back at home on the marriage/children track, but I focused on enjoying my new experiences. I’ve also always known that I can settle or go on the other track at anytime if I want. I just followed my gut and what felt right…which also led me to London last fall.

What does living your best life look like for you? And how did you figure that out for yourself?

First and foremost, being independent.

For years in my twenties, I didn’t prioritize my career or being financially responsible. I figured I’d get married one day (by 30 at the latest) and it would all work out. I wish I could shake my younger self and tell her that I had so much power to make my mark in the world, make my own money, and make my own freedom.

I grew up in a community where many of my friend’s mothers stayed at home and many women I went to University with followed on that path. I have a lot of respect for raising a family, but I idealized that as being the end-all-be-all best way to live.

And for me personally, it isn’t. As I’ve built my career and seen growth, I realize that I enjoy having my independence and it’s something I work for every day to get more of. With that, I think living your best life of travel, planning fun experiences with friends, and living in a space you love, comes with it. 

Can you tell us about “me moons”? What are they, and what did you do for yours in the French Riviera?

Yes! My coined term #memoon is when you stop waiting for the perfect relationship or opportunity for your dream trip, and take it yourself – aka a solo honeymoon!

It’s crazy all the amazing feedback I got after I went on my first one. Some may think it’s depressing, but I promise you, you will feel SO empowered on a fabulous trip with yourself, in a beautiful setting, and it’s still magical. 

You do some solo travel, what are your best tips for someone wanting to do that but feel afraid to go alone?

Break up the days with activities in a few hour time slots. For example, morning pick a really cute breakfast spot and people-watch.

Bring a journal or work. Plan something in the afternoon to see like a museum or cool shop. Then it’s already lunch! Go home and get all dressed up and take yourself to a happy hour for sunset, followed by a dinner- and there’s almost your whole day.

If you stay busy and focus on exploring and seeing new things, the chatter in your head is less. 

What are your best skincare recs?

I’m constantly testing products on the weekly. If I had to pick one, my favorite skincare product I’ve discovered this summer is the Tulip Dew Sunscreen serum by Bloomeffects. It’s a lightweight, glowy serum with all the vitamins you need that’s also mineral-based SPF 50. I’ve tried so many sunscreens, and this wins hands down. 

For bougie skincare, Augustinus Bader Rich Cream and Bilogue Recherche PS50 is a dream combo.  For more affordable I love Beauty Pie and Belif. I’ll make a TikTok on my day and night routines soon! 

Do you have a life motto? Or a quote you are inspired by?

What would you do if you knew you could not fail? It leaves me feel empowered to make bold moves. Especially when traveling and if I get scared or nervous. If I knew it was going to work out, or told myself that, I’d be SO brave and take on the world. 

Lastly, what would you say to someone in their thirties who is feeling “behind on life”? 

That even if you got married at 45, you could have 40 years with that partner!

Age is different in society now, and there’s never been a time where women can be independent for 10-20 years in adulthood.

So, try to enjoy it- we are the lucky generation! Also, all the “things” you feel behind on aren’t all perfect or fun, they come with their own positives and negatives and each path is not better or worse than the other.

This season in life brought up some very important questions that I’ve started committing myself to:  Who do I want to be showing up in 3, 6, 12 months from now? How do I want to feel? What does the future life of Mel look like? (lol “Life of Mel” – new Disney special).

I took these questions and started to break it down, simplify, and create action. I then asked myself the more tangible questions:

• What does it take to get there?
• Is it cutting out a negative aspect of your life?
• Is it educating myself?
• Prioritizing specific aspects of my life?
• Owning up to my actions?

I’ve been actively trying to reroute and rewire my habits for the greater good of my future self. This doesn’t mean not to enjoy – but it means to stay disciplined and weigh out my priorities for the sake of my dreams.

I got to a point a few weeks back where I was becoming disappointed in myself. Not in a poor me, pity party aspect (though there were EMOTIONAL moments). It was a wave of passion for the life I want to be living. The person I deserve to be showing up as.

So I took to my journal as I usually do when we’ve hit a moment of crisis :’) and wrote out all the ways I can start showing up for myself in a more positive way. I made a schedule for myself, created some broken down goals to keep my motivation along the way, and started implementing the day to day things that will create the future change.

Some of the things I’m prioritizing are…

• Not mindlessly scrolling – keeping intention with social media
• Honoring my sleep schedule – 7-8 hours of sleep a night and trying my best to get to bed / wake up around the same time to help my circadian rhythm
• Reading 10 pages a day. this may not seem like a crazy feat but let me tell you… Ya girl HATES reading. It’s something I know I should prioritize but never do. I started with literally 2 pages on the first day. the next, I got a little more into the book and went over 10. It just shows that if you show up and start, it will get easier.
• Reaching out to at least 1 person that I could either do work for or collaborate with in some way every week.
• Fresh air in the morning with a 10-15 minute walk. Again – it doesn’t seem like much but when I don’t have a moment to myself to start the day – watch out. She’s an anxious mess that literally hits the to-do list like the Tasmanian devil. (no that’s not an exaggeration and I’m laughing at the image I’ve drawn out there hahah)
• 5x 30min+ workouts a week! I’m not committing to anything crazy, but I am committing 30 minutes. I know how much better it makes me feel and in the long run, it’ll pay off to show up for 30 minutes a day.

Looking at the bigger goal can be daunting and anxiety-provoking (if I’m being honest) — but breaking the goals down to a tangible task that you can focus on each day has the ability to change your life. It may not seem like a huge feat getting through one day.. But 360 days?

You’re going to look and feel like a whole new person.

So I continue to remind myself when the lack of motivation hits – with consistency, momentum will come. There’s been good months, bad months, and emotional months, but no matter what – If I keep trying my best to show up as the person I strive to be in the future, we’re moving forward.

Now GGC is a multifaceted community with a podcast, apparel line, classes + courses, a membership, and craft fairs in Oakland, CA + Salem, MA.

I integrate my seven years of yoga teaching experience with my foundation of intersectional feminism and creativity into my work as a business owner. My mindfulness practice can be experienced in how I manage projects and my team, and I hope I integrate into my teachings! When I’m not working you can find me exploring outside, thrifting, or drinking iced coffee. 

What does a typical week in your life look like?

I do A LOT in a typical week. I’m teaching classes, packing orders, preparing for launches, meeting with my team, designing new products, sending emails, working with partners, filming content, designing graphics, and I hope to go outside once a day. 

When do you plan your weeks?

I’m a Virgo! And also get easily distracted. So having a plan is crucial to my success. Planning my week was revolutionized when I implemented two separate things: one-throwing away my to-do list and scheduling instead, and two-theming my days. The to-do list is literally never done, right?

And that makes us feel SO shitty when we get to the end of the day and we haven’t completed our tasks, and if the to-do list always exists, you’re always going to feel that you’re not doing enough, and F THAT! So instead, schedule your tasks.

Pick a few things a day that YOU CAN ACTUALLY DO. That way each day you can feel accomplished. Need to plan a doctor’s appt, put it on your cal, need to write that blog? Put it on your cal. Your cal becomes your to-do list.

Secondly, I started theming my days.

• Monday is CEO Day (planning my week, having a clear vision of what is coming)
• Tuesday is Internal Day (meetings with my team and whatever I need to do for them)
• Wednesday is Content Day (planning + filming videos, designing graphics, writing)
• Thursday is Community Day (Podcasts, Partnership work, Coaching)
• Friday is Financial + Overflow day (accounting, + whatever else I didn’t complete during the week) 

By having themed days it is easier for me to plan and schedule, and I stay in the flow better, instead of getting sidetracked switching tasks or having decision paralysis and not knowing what to do.

Obviously, some things get a little switched around sometimes, and that is ok, but I generally try to stay on theme as much as I can. 

When I say these 2 concepts CHANGED MY LIFE I am not joking!

What systems do you use to plan your week and why?

I use Google cal to plan my weeks (and life!) and use Asana with my team so they know what’s happening as well. 

Attached is a pic of an example week. I care less about the hours/time for non-meetings, and more use each day as a bulletin board for my day. I turn each task GREEN once it is done. 

Try themed days! And throw away your to-do list! Most importantly, come to your desk with a plan! (Otherwise, you’ll just scroll social media, let’s be real)

For more tips, you can check out our podcast! Or grab one of our free resources.

I started the first arm of the KC Brand in 2020 after quitting my 5th-Grade teaching job with just a broken keyboard and no Plan B. The business grew quickly to 6-figures in just 14 months thanks in a large part to using Day Rates to reduce my client workload. 

In 2021, I retired my partner from his job, moved us to Mauritius, our dream island in the tropics, and expanded our offerings to include mentorship opportunities for other copywriters and online service providers ready to scale, too.

I believe in building companies that are not only highly profitable – but fun, fulfilling, and freedom-filled! So every week you can catch a new episode of the Freedom Found Podcast for your latest copywriting, business, and mindset insights to help you create a life you can’t wait to wake up to. (Oh and I’ve been told my emails are bingeworthy, too.)

So, what’s it like being an island-living CEO? Let’s get into it!

What time do you wake up in the morning and how do you wake up?

Most days I let the sun stream in through the window and – wait, that doesn’t sound right… The sun comes up as early as 5:15 am here in Mauritius in the summer and I need a little more shuteye than that. I keep my blackout curtains drawn until I wake up to the sound of birds in nature from my alarm around 6:30. 

What’s on your bedside table?

Lavender hand cream from L’Occitane, my favorite. My wave sound machine, if ever the cats are too noisy to sleep. My phone charger, a glass of water, and current read – which right now, is The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller.

Do you prepare for your mornings the night before? If so, how?

I’ve learned that the best way for me to have a great day is to have a great night’s sleep. For me, that looks like no phone time after 8:00 pm, in bed by 9:45 pm, and setting my alarm after my wonderful partner takes a quick glance at my morning calendar and lets me know what time my first scheduled meeting is. 

This way I don’t open my calendar and start to think about everything happening the next day. We started this a few months ago and I love it! I don’t ask what the meeting is for or who it’s with to keep my brain disengaged from work and just make sure that I know when my first in-real-time obligation is.

What are your skincare/body care rituals?

I don’t do much in terms of skincare except apply sunscreen before my mornings outside and moisturizer on occasion.

What does your morning routine flow look like?

I think this is the part in our relationship where I should tell you something about me – I’m a snoozer. Yep. 

I tend to hit the snooze button 1-2 times in the morning and enjoy an extra cuddle with my man before I hop outta bed, pull back the curtains, and grab my bikini or yoga pants.

Most mornings I either grab my paddle board or put on my Nikes, head across the street to the beach, and take a 5k walk or paddle along the shore. I like to get my heart rate up but in all honesty, I stop a lot. Sometimes I sit and think about new, exciting ideas or directions for the brand, or something big-picture for life. But most often I just try to appreciate everything. 

It’s truly beautiful here: Turquoise waters, white-sand beaches, beautiful homes, palm trees. I try to be present – something that can be challenging with busy lives and businesses – and just enjoy the fact that I don’t have to head into my old teaching job and am right where I wanted to be just a few years ago. (Again, something that deserves reminding when you’re usually looking forward.)

I’m a huge audio-book lover so while I’m walking I usually listen to my latest non-fiction book or favorite podcast.

On the mornings I don’t head to the beach, I go to my favorite Vinyasa yoga class where my teacher can be counted on to challenge me to do something new and different than I have before. I always leave feeling clear-headed and ready for the day.

I then head home, make a smoothie and oatmeal, and eat breakfast with my partner in the sunroom. I either read my current novel or journal on what I’m grateful for, what I’m excited to help clients with, and what I’m working toward that day.

Then as I finish breakfast I’ll hop on Voxer and check-in with my coaching clients. We usually chat back and forth for a little while and then I head to my office to get started for the day (perhaps with a cheeky 20-minute stop at the piano on the way there). 

When do you kick off your workday? And do you have any starting-work rituals?

Part of living on an island far from North America where most of our KC Brand Clients are based means my schedule is varied throughout the week based on meetings scheduled.

(In case you didn’t know, Mauritius is a small island nation nestled near Madagascar and the Seychelles in the Indian Ocean. That means we have pristine beaches, perfect year-round weather, and gorgeous marine life, while we compromise on being a little further away from home and 9-5 compatible timezones.)

I usually start my workday between 7-9:30 depending on the day and my call schedule. Days that I have later meetings that start around 5:00 pm because of timezones are days where I’ll take a slow and relaxed morning and maybe even jump in around 11:00 am so I don’t end up over-working. 

When I first sit down at my desk I check in with my team via Slack to answer questions and get them anything they need to fulfill their day’s responsibilities. Then I prioritize my to-do list. I find that I have the most energy in the morning and evenings so I’ll use this time to focus on whatever big project we’re working on, a new idea, or reviewing copy for our KC Copy Studio clients so my most creative energy is used wisely.

I’ll save my inbox, and other click-tasks for later in the day.

How does your morning routine change on the weekends?

I’m usually up bright and early on a Saturday morning to go hiking, snorkeling, or otherwise exploring this beautiful country! My partner and I are pretty obsessed with climbing to the top of all the gorgeous volcanic mountains here and like to get up and going before the day gets ahead of us.

Sundays are usually slow and relaxed days where we head to our favorite beach with friends, tie our paddle boards to a perfectly-placed buoy, and talk, and laugh, and float until we’re tired of the sun. 

What does your mindset look like at the beginning of the day? Do you have any tips or tools for getting in a good mindset?

Up until the time I sit down at my desk, I don’t check my phone.

I firmly believe that if you can control your mornings, you can control your day, and if you can control your day, you can control your weeks, your months, and your life. 

When I used to check my notifications in the morning, I’d usually feel stressed about something I needed to do or obligated to respond to messages before I’d spent time filling up my own cup first. Switching things up and creating a boundary for my own personal brain space every morning has been imperative to cultivating productive and positive days!

I also keep all notifications except from friends and family off during the day. So I manually have to go into apps to check on things (think: Instagram, Slack, Voxer, etc). This both helps with productivity so you don’t get unnecessarily pulled out of a certain task and into another and also in reducing the mental drain that can come when so many things are happening at once.

It might seem difficult at first, but I found that with just a couple of weeks of practice it became a new routine that’s now a must-do. 

What’s non-negotiable vs. what does an extra-luxurious morning look like?

Exercise is a requirement for me. When I get up and move my body right away, I step into my day on a clear and fresh note – the days I don’t start with yoga or a walk always feel like something’s missing so I stick to this pretty tightly.

And on many-a-luxurious occasion you can find me snorkeling down the beach with our neighborhood sea turtles or at the piano playing songs with my partner for an extra 30 or 45 minutes before we start work. Our top favs include anything from Disney, A Star is Born, and Damien Rice.

What would you like to improve with your mornings?

I’ve been slowly working toward waking up earlier. 6:00 am or earlier wake-up times are in my near future which means sunrise walks or extra time for snorkeling and paddle boarding shenanigans.

What’s your #1 recommendation to others who struggle with mornings?

Let me just say, I don’t subscribe to the idea that you need to master a morning routine or wake up at 5:00 am to be successful. I just think you need to create time and space to fill up your own cup. Whether that means you wake up before the rest of the house to hit the gym at 5:00 am (something one of my clients does every day before she sends her kids to school) or you get up at 9:00 am and kickstart the day with a journal session and your favorite pump-up playlist – YOU DO YOU.

Just don’t not prioritize filling up your own cup. Taking care of yourself first is the one thing you can do to set yourself up for helping others in a way that won’t drain your energy. And when your cup is full you can bring more support, positivity, and care into other people’s lives throughout your day.

Read through more CEO morning routines!